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Kuya G.
07.06.28, 08:09 AM
Korek kuya alex, hahaha Inday nice one, natawa talaga ako, bwahahaha!

jose
07.06.28, 10:29 AM
honga inday, mas ok sana kung pinoy yung bida, haha, the ever smart pinoy, bwahaha... pero isa sa nagpa-cute nung joke is yung texan accent, hehe...ini-imagine ko sya sa tv, wehehehe...

Bonnie
07.06.28, 09:58 PM
AHehehee, ibang klase ka talaga inday, simply amazing, parang smart, hahahaha...

reagan
07.06.29, 10:44 AM
Pamatay na English

This is a letter from one bar girl to another bar girl whose boyfriend she
apparently stole. This was found in a Malate bar by a friend of the guy who sent me this e-mail. Enjoy it as much as I did!!!


To Marjie,

I am not surprise or wander why Dennis leave you. Why? What reason you can
think about but you're very fat body. I'm thought before that Dennis only
use me to his toy but sooner and later I'm realize that he really can't not beared or stomached to be with you anymore because at first, Dennis say he could not stand you're habit of making pakialam all his walks and always calling to their house what time he go home or this or that and then he say he get ashame to met you iether in school or in his family and then asking you to exercise you're very, very, very fat body but you hate it you thoughth you're the most prettiest girls he know about what do you think you are "Beautiful Girl" of Jose Mari Chan even you are beautiful face (to your think) you do not have the rigth to called me whatsoever or else different name one time or the other for the real purposed to insults my personality because I'm never call you names before iether in front of Dennis or in the backs of Dennis, but if you start already to calling me different name, I'm don't have any other choice but to called you other different name to like you are a PIG, FAT,
OBESSED, OVERWIGHT AND UGLY SHAPE girl. Shame to you're body that is to a
BUDING. You can't not blame Dennis for exchanging you to me because I'm am
the more sexier than you when you look to us in the mirror. I'm repeat
again that you are like Ike Lozada when she is a girl.

FROM: THE SEXIEST GIRL OF D.M.

Ps. You say that I'm the bad breathe
But who is Dennis want to kissed.
Me or you? You or me?
And the final is me.

bingo
07.06.30, 10:43 AM
hahaha... hay nakow pow!!! apir!!!

Bonnie
07.06.30, 04:41 PM
Hehehehe, pareng reagan, nawala ako don ah, hirap intindihin, nagkabuhol ata line of thought ko pag basa ko non, ahehehehe.

kateri
07.07.01, 09:26 AM
ang dami ko na palang na-miss na jokes! hahahaha...sarap tumawa!

eto pa isa:

sa isang mumurahing airlines...a flight attendant is talking to one of the passengers:

fa: sir, would you like some dinner?

pass: ano ba ang choices?

fa: yes or no lang po. ;-)

reagan
07.07.02, 09:57 AM
haha... good one kateri..... :)

eto from the emails:



MAKABAGONG SALAWIKAIN

Ang buhay ay parang bato, it's hard.

Better late than pregnant.

Behind the clouds are the other clouds.

It's better to cheat than to repeat!

Do unto others ... then run!!!

Kapag puno na ang salop, kumuha na ng ibang salop.

Magbiro ka na sa lasing, magbiro ka na sa bagong gising, huwag lang sa lasing na bagong gising.

When all else fails, follow instructions.

Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling wika, lumaki sa ibang bansa.

To err is human, to errs is humans.

Ang taong nagigipit ... sa Bumbay kumakapit.

Pag may usok ... may nag-iihaw.

Ang taong naglalakad nang matulin ... may utang.

No guts, no glory... no ID, no entry.

Birds of the same feather that pray together... stay together.

Kapag may sinuksok at walang madukot, may nandukot.

Walang matigas na tinapay sa gutom na tao.

Ang taong di marunong lumingon sa kanyang pinanggalingan. .. ay may stiff neck.

Birds of the same feather make a good feather duster.

Kapag may tiyaga, may nilaga. Kapag may taga, may tahi.

Huli man daw at magaling, undertime pa rin.

Ang naglalakad ng matulin, late na sa appointment.

Matalino man ang matsing, matsing pa rin.

Better late than later.

No man is an island because time is gold.

Hindi lahat ng kumikinang ay ginto... muta lang yan.

When it rains... it floods.

Ang buhay ay parang gulong, minsan nasa ibabaw, minsan nasa vulcanizing shop.

Batu-bato sa langit, ang tamaan... sapul.

Try and try until you succeed... or else try another.

Ako ang nagsaing. Iba ang kumain. Diet ako eh.

Huwag magbilang ng manok kung alaga mo ay itik.

If you can't beat them, shoot them.

An apple a day is too expensive.

An apple a day makes seven apples a week. (really expensive).

Bonnie
07.07.02, 10:36 PM
Hahahaha, wala akong masabi reagan, astig ka rin pala. hahahaha.

jose
07.07.03, 09:47 AM
hahaha...isasapuso ko yang mga salawikain na yan, wahahaha...

Kuya G.
07.07.03, 09:59 AM
Onga reagan astig ka rin pala, tuloy mo yan enjoy tayong lahat!

Eto short joke:

Jude: Doctor! I have a serious problem,
I can never remember what i just said.

Doctor: When did you first notice this problem?

Jude: What problem?

Alna_lou
07.07.03, 10:00 AM
Kuya Reagan...patay ka ni Lolo Brigido...binago mo ung mga salawikain niya....:) LOL

reagan
07.07.03, 01:06 PM
hehe.... eto pa.....

English Movies You Should Never Translate In Tagalog


1. I Know What You Did Last Summer - Uyy... Aminin!
2. Love, Actually - Sa Totoo Lang, Pag-ibig
3. Million Dollar Baby - 50 Milyong Pisong Sanggol (depende sa exchange
rate) 4. The Blair Witch Project - Ang Proyekto ng Bruhang si Blair
5. The Postman Always Rings Twice - Ang Kartero Kapag Dumutdot Laging
Dalawang Beses
6. Sum of All Fears - Takot Mo , Takot Ko, Takot Nating Lahat
7. Pretty Woman - Ganda ng Lola Mo
8. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly - Ako, Ikaw, Kayong Lahat
9. Click - Isang Pindot Ka Lang
10. Employee of the Month - Ang Sipsip
11. Resident Evil - Ang Biyenan
12. Kill Bill - Kilitiin sa Bilbil
13. The Grudge - Lintik lang ang Walang Ganti
14. Never Been Kissed - Pangit Kasi
15. Dude, Where's My Car - Dong, Anong Level Ulit Tayo Nag-park?
16. Beauty and the Beast - Ang Asawa ko at ang Nanay Nya
17. The Lord of the Rings - Ang Alahero
18. Die Hard - Hindi Mamatay-matay
19. Men In Black - Mga Lalaking Namatayan
20. The Forgotten - Ewan

Alna_lou
07.07.03, 04:33 PM
Nice one kuya G and Kuya Reagan....eto sa akin...

A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I.Q. 20 points.
After a battery of physical and psychological tests, he was told by the center's director that he was an acceptable candidate.
"That's great!" the executive said. "But I understand that this procedure can be really expensive."
"Yes, sir, it can," the director replied. "An ounce of accountant's brain for example, costs one thousand dollars; an ounce of an economist's brain costs two thousand; an ounce of a corporate president's is forty-five thousand. An ounce of a Democrat's brain is seventy-five thousand dollars."
"Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a Democrat's brain? Why on earth is that?"
"Do you have any idea," the director asked, "how many Democrats we would have to kill?"


eto pa...

One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, the Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, and the pilot burst into the compartment.

"Gentlemen," he began, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that we're about to crash in New Jersey. The good news is that there are four parachutes, and I have one of them!" With that, the pilot threw open the door and jumped from the plane.

Michael Jordan was on his feet in a flash. "Gentlemen," he said, "I am the world's greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think the world's greatest athlete should have a parachute!" With these words, he grabbed one of the remaining parachutes, and hurtled through the door and into the night.

Bill Gates rose and said, "Gentlemen, I am the world's smartest man. The world needs smart men. I think the world's smartest man should have a parachute, too." He grabbed one, and out he jumped. The Dali Lama and the hippie looked at one another. Finally, the Dali Lama spoke. "My son," he said, "I have lived a satisfying life and have known the bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you; you take a parachute, and I will go down with the plane."

The hippie smiled slowly and said, "Hey, don't worry, pop. The world's smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack."

*nakakatawa pero...tonks...

jose
07.07.03, 06:11 PM
haha...ano nga ba tinatawanan ko gi? wahaha...

grabe reagan, sumakit ang tyan ko kakatawa dun sa movies ROFLMAO...

nice one too alna_lou...haha

Kuya G.
07.07.04, 08:48 AM
hahaha Reagan ayos hahaha! Leo, nice one!

Here's another.

A blonde woman goes to the doctor and complains that her whole body is aching. She touches her knee and says: "Ouch! That hurt". She then touches her elbow which evokes yet another painful response. She then touches her ear and complains that it is sensitive too. The doctor then examines her and says: "Well, Madam, I am sure that will be the case - your finger is broken."

Alna_lou
07.07.04, 05:16 PM
Wahahaha...I can't believe it! She had to see the doctor before she realized that her finger is broken!...wahahaha....

Kuya G.
07.07.05, 08:31 AM
GRANDMA IN COURT

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."

Bonnie
07.07.05, 12:03 PM
hehehehe, galing talga ni grandma, alam lahat ang mga kalikot ng mga tao sa lugar nila, galing gi.

inday25er
07.07.06, 03:46 PM
4. The Blair Witch Project - Ang Proyekto ng Bruhang si Blair


Hahaha! Bentang-benta 'to sa'kin, reagan! :D

kateri
07.07.06, 11:40 PM
hehehe..di ko lang isinapuso ang mga makabagong salawikain...ipinasa ko pa! :) salamat sa mga bagong kaalaman reagan!

bingo
07.07.07, 10:50 AM
reagan meron ka rin bang tagalog to english translation ng mga movies?:no:

reagan
07.07.11, 08:13 AM
hehe.... wala.... maghahanap pa ako... :D

eto na naman from the emails: :)



Ang Kawawang Mga Magulang



Dear Anak,

Naipadala ko na 50 thousand pesos na tuition fee mo, panagbili na namin nag mga kalabaw natin. Ang mahal pala ng kursong COUNTER STRIKE, wala na din pala tayong baboy naibenta na din para dun sa sinasabi mo na project nyo na NOKIA N75, ang mahal naman ng project nayun. kasama din ang 7 thousand dun para sa field trip nyo sa MALL OF ASIA, anak malayo ba yun mag ingat ka sa pagbibiyahe mo, isasanla pala namin ang palayan natin para mabili mo nag yung instrumentong I-POD na kinakailangan mo sa laboratory nyo. Anak komportable kaba jan sa boarding house mo san ba kamu yan… sa VICTORIA COURT - maganda ba dyan di ba mainit jan. Anak kamusta na pala yung group project nyo na SANMIG LIGHT napailaw nyo na ba? mataas ba nakuha nyo na grado dun.

Anak sana bago pa maubos ang lahat lahat ng ari-arian natin ay maka gradweyt kana, walong taon ba talaga ang kurso mo sa SECRETARIAL, sana pag graweyt mo makakuha ka ng trabaho kaagad kagaya ng manager ng kumpanya para mabawi natin ang mga ari arian nating sa sanglaan. ay cya nga pala anak diba sabi mo sa JOLLIBEE / MAK DONALD ka palagi kumakain ok ba naman sayo ang mga ulam dyan baka hindi masarap kawawa ka naman.Eh yung school bus nyo na TAXI sabihin mo sa driver mag ingat cya sa pag dri-drive.

Anak hanggang dito nalang at sa susunod ay ipap ada la ko sayo ang pera na pambili mo ng ALTIS na gagamitin mo sa VACANT SUBJECT mo.

Ang nagmamahal
Itay at Inang

P.S. Anak mag aral ka ng mabuti.

Kuya G.
07.07.11, 09:34 AM
hehehe raegan nice one.

Eto CLASSROOM DIALOGUE:

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Maria!

TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!

TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O!

TEACHER : Winnie, name an important thing we have today, we didn't have 10 years ago.
WINNIE : Me!

TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand.

TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER : Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog!

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher.

jose
07.07.11, 09:46 AM
hehehe...smart pupils and students, tsk!tsk!... mga bata nga naman ngayon, hehehe...

bingo
07.07.11, 01:14 PM
nice one kuya g... naalala ko tuloy yung drawing ng babyloveko na kabayo... puro damo lang ang nasa drawing niya... nung tinanong ko kung asan yung kabayo eh sagot niya: tumakbo na raw!!!

manoiskee
07.07.11, 01:14 PM
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand.


George: sige lang, subukan mo! subukan mooo!

lolz!

reagan
07.07.11, 02:05 PM
hahaha...... sige subukan mo....

michaela
07.07.11, 03:01 PM
Haha,nabasa ko na eto sa Erap jokebook dati. pero share ko lang po.

CONTEST SA TV - PREMIYO: P100,000.00

Host: What "N" (narra) is the national tree of the Philippines?
Contestant: Niyog?
Host: Mas matigas pa diyan.
Contestant: (in a strong-sounding voice) NIYOG!!!

Host: Saan "B" (Bagumbayan) binaril si Jose Rizal?
Contestant: Sa back?
Host: O sige, puwede rin na ang simula ay letter "L" (Luneta).
Contestant: Likod?
Host: Hindi pa rin. Para mas madali, "R.P." ang initials ng modern name nito (Rizal Park).
Contestant: Rear Part? (Susme! Likod pa rin yun!)

Host: Saan "B" (beach) tayo madalas pumunta pag summer upang maligo?
Contestant: Banyo?
Host: Hindi, pag pumunta ka doon, maaarawan ka.
Contestant: Bubong?
Host: Hindi, marami kang makikita duong mga babaeng naka-bikini.
Contestant: Beerhouse!

Host: Anong "L" (Lifeguard) ang tawag sa tao na sumasagip sa iyo pag ikaw ay nalulunod?
Contestant: Lifebuoy?
Host: Hindi, pero kahawig nga ng pangalan ng sabon ang pangalan ng ito
Contestant : Safeguard?
Host: Hindi, pagsamahin mo yung dalawang sagot mo.
Contestant : Safe Buoy?
Host: Hindi siya "boy" at matipuno nga ang kaniyang katawan.
Contestant: Ah, Mr. Clean!

Host: Sino ang national hero na naka-picture sa 500 Peso bill? Clue: May initials na N.A. (Ninoy Aquino)
Contestant: Nora Aunor?
Host: Hindi. Ang pangalan niya ay nage-end sa "Y".
Contestant: Guy Aunor?
Host: Hindi. Dati siyang Senador.
Contestant: Si Former Senator Guy Aunor?
Host: Hindi. Patay na siya.
Contestant: ANO??!! PATAY NA SI NORA AUNOR???!!!

One more dagdag:
Host: What "K" (kalabaw) is the national animal of the Philippines?
Contestant: Kuto?
Host: Hinde, clue: It tills the land.
Contestant: Kutong Lupa!

***
pasensya na ang corny!pero bigla akong napangiti sa nora aunor! :P

manoiskee
07.07.11, 05:23 PM
ehehehe, naalala ko tuloy bigla sila ogie at michael v. sa battle of the brainless during their tropang trumpo days.

jose
07.07.11, 05:28 PM
hoh yes! tropang trumpo hit it! hahaha...

Bonnie
07.07.11, 05:40 PM
Hehehehe, fans din pala kayo ng tropang trumpo, hahahaha, same here...

reagan
07.07.12, 07:18 PM
How To Photograph A New Puppy...

** Remove film from box and load camera
** Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash
** Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle
** Choose a suitable background for photo
** Mount camera on tripod and focus
** Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth
** Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera
** Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees
** Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand
** Get tissue and clean nose print from lens
** Take flash cube from puppy's mouth and throw in trash
** Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose
** Put magazines back on coffee table
** Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head
** Replace your glasses and check camera for damage
** Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say, "No, outside! No, outside!"
** Call spouse to clean up mess
** Fix a drink
** Sit back in Lazy Boy with drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning

bingo
07.07.12, 07:28 PM
hahaha... how to tame a puppy, meron ka?

jose
07.07.13, 11:34 AM
hahaha... better photograph the puppy with your spouse holding him, hehe... i mean photograph your spouse holding a puppy, hahaha... ang gulo! LOL

Jon2
07.07.14, 02:43 PM
wala ako mapost na joke so share ko itong nakuha ko sa youtube.

hehehe...

the conscience (http://youtube.com/watch?v=iRME5wXWVZY)

happy weekender!

reagan
07.07.14, 07:32 PM
hahaha... how to tame a puppy, meron ka?

hehe.... yun siguro ang appropriate title niya.... hehe...

Tracy
07.07.16, 01:05 PM
i hope you all like this one :)

Tatlong lalake nagkasala sa tribu:
Chief: kayo dala tig sampu prutas, tpos kayu balik.
Una bumalik si juan, may dala sampung santol.
Chief: Pasok lahat santol pwet mo, pag ikaw nangiwi o nangiti, patay ka!
Pinasok ni juan unang santol sa pwet nya, nangiwi, patay!
Sunod dumating si pedro, may dala sampung ubas, pang sampung ubas na xa, napangiti, patay! Nagkita si Juan at Pedro sa langit.
Juan: Buhay ka pa sana pedro kung di ka nangiti sa panghuling ubas. Bakit ka ba kasi nangiti.
Pedro: Kita ko kasi si berto may dala Langka.

Tracy
07.07.16, 01:13 PM
A prince was cursed by a witch that he could only speak one word per year, but if he doesn’t he could save the words for the next year. One day he saw a pretty princess and fell in love, he waited for 10 years to say “darling, I love you, I would like to marry you”
And guess what the princess replied???? “Pardon?”
Saklap noh???

---------------------------------

Amo: Inday may importante akong tawag na hinihintay. Sagutin mo agad telepono.
Inday: yis sir!
(ring, ring) Sa pagmamadali ni inday, nauntog sa pinto.
Caller: Hello?
Inday: Midyu. Hihi…

---------------------------------

Parrot: Panget! Panget!
Babae: Pag sinabi mo pa ulit yan sakin, papatayin na kitang ibon ka!
Next Day:
Parrot: Pssssst…
Babae: Bakit?!
Parrot: alam mo na!

---------------------------------

Couple talking:
Wife: hon, paki fix naman ilaw sa labas.
Husband: Hello?! Electrician ba ko?!
Wife: eh di paki gawa na lang hagdan naten.
Husband: Hello?! Karpentero ba ko?!
Umalis si husband, pagbalik, gawa na lahat ng sira sa bahay, tinanong nya wife nya kung sino gumawa ng trabho.
Wife: Kasi kanina, a hunky man saw me crying, sabi ko dami sira ditto sa bahay, so he offered sex daw or bake ko xa ng cake kapalit ng trabaho.
Husband: so anong cake and binake mo?
Wife: Hello?! Baker ba ko?!

jose
07.07.16, 04:08 PM
wehehehe... humahataw na si tracy, hehe... keep it comin'...

gusto ko yung "hello?" "midyu,hihi..." LOL

************************************************** *************

just got this from my email...

few words of wisdom to scare us by....

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of
a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll
be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us
from achieving them.
Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to
answer... is, "What does a woman want?"
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some
paragraphs with me.
Anonymous

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We
take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A
little candlelight, dinner, soft music and
dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Henny Youngman

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for
two years.
Sam Kinison

There's a way of transferring funds that is even
faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
James Holt McGavran

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one
left me, and the second one didn't.
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I
wanted to.
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife
wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

THIS IS FOR ALL THE GUYS TO GIVE THEM A GOOD
LAUGH......AND TO THE LADIES WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR
WHO CAN HANDLE IT!!!!!!!

Kuya G.
07.07.17, 06:01 PM
Uyy pati si Tracy nakikigulo na rin dito, go go go tracy.

O eto naman:

ANG MEANING NG BAWAT HAYOP!!!
Ano nga ba ang ibig sabihin ng bawat hayop?
Tulad ng pusa.. gustong-gusto ng mga lalake yan pag ingles na..

so,
MARK: Junior, anong hayop ang idinudugtong sa mainit para makain?
JUNIOR: edi DOG!
MARK: Ano naman ang hayop na pwedeng pangkarera at malakas sumipa?
JUNIOR: Ay VOWVOW ka! Edi Kabayo!
MARK: Etoh last.. ano naman ang hayop na pinakapangit?
JUNIOR: Hay naku! ano pa ba sa tingin mo! Edi COW...

Bonnie
07.07.17, 08:23 PM
Uyy pati si Tracy nakikigulo na rin dito, go go go tracy.

O eto naman:

ANG MEANING NG BAWAT HAYOP!!!
Ano nga ba ang ibig sabihin ng bawat hayop?
Tulad ng pusa.. gustong-gusto ng mga lalake yan pag ingles na..

so,
MARK: Junior, anong hayop ang idinudugtong sa mainit para makain?
JUNIOR: edi DOG!
MARK: Ano naman ang hayop na pwedeng pangkarera at malakas sumipa?
JUNIOR: Ay VOWVOW ka! Edi Kabayo!
MARK: Etoh last.. ano naman ang hayop na pinakapangit?
JUNIOR: Hay naku! ano pa ba sa tingin mo! Edi COW...

Edi kaw este cow ha, hehehehe...

Three convicts escape from prison. They make it to a nearby town but are confonted by a policeman. "Hey, aren't you those three escaped convicts?", asked the policeman. Thinking on his feet the first convict looked around him and said "no, I'm Mark, Mark Spencer", "The second followed his lead and said "My names is William, W H Smith". The third said "My name is Ken.....TuckyFriedChicken"

bouie
07.07.17, 11:26 PM
Ahahahaha ROFLMAO

let2m26
07.07.18, 12:23 AM
hmmm teka pasali ulit ha? hehehe

May Bagong kasal na mag-asawa sa loob ng sinehan sobrang sweet kiss dito kiss doon at kiss kung saan saan hanggang umabot sa dibdib ng asawa.. ng bigla na lang sinampal at binugbog ng lalaki ang babae at sabay sigaw na...
Lalaki:NILOKO MO AKO SABI MO DALAGA KA NG AKING PAKASALAN?
Babae: Oo naman dalagang dalaga ako at alam kong alam mo yan mahal na mahal kita kaya di kita kayang lokohin.
Lalaki: kung dalaga ka bakit may gatas ka ng isang ina?
Biglang tumingin sa dibdib ang babae...
Babae: Ahhhh yun ba naku may Pigsa ako sa dibdib! :ecstatic:
Lalake: yuckk :terrified:



:belat: :devil:

Junilo
07.07.18, 08:54 AM
In a TV husband and wife contest where winning is based on the number of the same answer by both the husband and the wife while they are inside a separate cubicle and cannot hear each other.

Announcer to the husband : What does your wife puts in you egg in the morning ?

Husband : Salt

Announcer to the wife : What do you put in your husband's egg in the morning ?

Wife : Talcum powder

LOL

He....he....he......he....he...he....he....he....

OK next time...more jokes.....................he...he...he...he.....he ......he.....heLOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

Kuya G.
07.07.18, 09:09 AM
Edi kaw este cow ha, hehehehe...

Three convicts escape from prison. They make it to a nearby town but are confonted by a policeman. "Hey, aren't you those three escaped convicts?", asked the policeman. Thinking on his feet the first convict looked around him and said "no, I'm Mark, Mark Spencer", "The second followed his lead and said "My names is William, W H Smith". The third said "My name is Ken.....TuckyFriedChicken"

HAHAHA KFC pala hahahaha!

Eto naman:

SEÑORA: Inday, bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadatnan kitang nanunuod ng TV!?

INDAY: Kasi po nahihiya ako sa inyo. Ayokong makita nyo akong walang ginagawa!

Tracy
07.07.18, 09:10 AM
A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician Commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity."
So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home
"I have something to show you won't believe," he said to his wife, opening
his briefcase.

"My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead!"

Tracy
07.07.18, 09:13 AM
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner." She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you," she said, " pretend you're a statue."
"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue," she replied, "the Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too."
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer. "Here," he said to the statue, have this.
I stood like that for two days at the Smiths’ and nobody offered me a damned
thing."

Tracy
07.07.18, 09:15 AM
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly: "I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to," his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace.
I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"
"I know," she replied, "now just rest and let the poison work.

bingo
07.07.18, 10:32 AM
A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician Commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity."
So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home
"I have something to show you won't believe," he said to his wife, opening
his briefcase.

"My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead!"


wahahaha... naughty naughty

jose
07.07.18, 11:20 AM
"Here," he said to the statue, have this.
I stood like that for two days at the Smiths’ and nobody offered me a damned
thing."

wahahaha, at least the husband learned sympathy and consideration! hahaha...

Tracy
07.07.18, 11:56 AM
One day an old lady went to the Bank of Canada with a large bag full of money. The old lady insisted to speak to the president of the company of the bank in order to open a savings account because, she said, she has a lot of money.
After many discussions, the employee took her along to the office of the President. The President asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She answered him $865,000 while putting the money on his desk.
Curious, the president asked her how she succeeded in saving such a lot of money.
The old lady answered that she made bets.
The president quite surprised asked her: “What kind of bets?”
The old lady answered him: “For example, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.”
The President started to laugh and pointed out that this kind of bet is impossible to win!
Then, The old lady replied: “Would you like to make this bet?”
“Certainly!” answered the president. “I guarantee you that my testicles are not square.”
The old lady thus said to him: “I agree, but given the importance of the implied sum, I will come back tomorrow at 10 a.m. with my lawyer as witness if you don’t see any inconvenience.”
“No Problem,” said the president of the bank trustfully.
That evening, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of his mirror examining his testicles, turning them in all directions, again and again, in order to make sure that his damned testicles could not be seen as square and therefore to be sure to win the bet.
On the next day, 10 a.m. sharp, the old lady arrived with her lawyer at the office of the president to confirm the bet of $25,000 for the fact that his testicles were square.
The president confirmed that the bet was in agreement with the commitments taken the day before. The old lady thus asked him to drop his trousers, and the remainder, so that she and her lawyer can see everything; what the president kindly did. The old lady came then closer to see and asked him whether she could touch them or not.
“Of course, please do!” said the president to her, “given the fact that there is so much money involved, you must be 100% sure.” And the old lady started to do so with a smile. The president then noticed that the lawyer was striking his head against the wall. He asked the old lady why the lawyer was reacting like that.
She answered: “It is probably due to the fact that I bet him $100,000 that around 10 a.m., I would be holding the testicles of the president of the Bank of Canada in my hands.

Tracy
07.07.18, 12:27 PM
Question and Answer portion in Beauty Pageants:

Host: If you had a foreigner friend, where will you bring him to showcase the beauty of the Philippines ?
Girl Contestant: Bocaue.
Host: Bocaue...? Why Bocaue?
Girl: Because it's a magnificent place.
Host: Which part of Bocaue?
Girl: The Bocaue Rice Terraces.

-------------------

Host: Hi, how do you want me call you?
Contestant: sa cell phone na lang po.

-------------------

Host: What is your edge over the other contestants?
Girl Contestant: Ummm.. I’m not sure about their edge, but I’m 23.

-------------------

Host: What, in your opinion, is the ideal age for marriage?
Girl: Between 24 and 25 po!

-------------------

Host: How do you see yourself 10 years from now?
Girl: I'll be 28.

-------------------

Host: What is your typical day?
Contestant: I think Saturday po!

-------------------

Host: What do you want to be after you graduate?
Contestant: I want to be a successful Medicine.

-------------------

Host: What is your best feature?
Contestant: My graduation feature.

-------------------

Host: What is your favorite motto?
Contestant: (after a long pause) I don't have a motto eh.
(So the crowd starts helping her out. The crowd started saying, "Time is gold! Time is gold!")
Contestant: I have na po. Chinese gold!

bingo
07.07.18, 01:25 PM
mas maganda sana kung sa president mismo ng canada siya naki bet... malamang mas malaki ang kanilang pustahan...

Tracy
07.07.18, 01:30 PM
oo nga po... dollars pa ang bet.. ROFLMAO

jose
07.07.19, 11:26 AM
your boss caught you sleeping on the job? one of these might save you from losing it...

10. "They told me at the blood bank
this might happen."

9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap
like they raved about in that time
management course you sent me to."

8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the
White-Out. You probably got here just
in time!"

7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was
meditating on the mission statement
and envisioning a new paradigm."

6. "I was testing my keyboard for
drool resistance."

5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga
exercise to relieve work-related
stress. Are you discriminatory toward
people who practice Yoga?"

4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had
almost figured out a solution to our
biggest problem."

3. "The coffee machine is broken..."

2. "Someone must've put decaf in the
wrong pot..."

1. " ... in Jesus' name. Amen."

michaela
07.07.19, 11:27 AM
My friend forward this to me long time ago:
Sometimes I ponder about what other people say, “Jokes are half-meant.”
Just think about it: if jokes are half-meant, then 2 jokes are one-meant.
So if there are 4 jokes, then you get bubblegum!
That’s double-meant, right?

Tracy
07.07.19, 01:42 PM
double-meant! that's funny! ROFLMAO

Alna_lou
07.07.19, 03:20 PM
mas funny yong ...in Jesus name. Amen...I mean, mas astig yon na palusot...wehehehe LOL LOL LOL

Bonnie
07.07.19, 04:42 PM
Try natin to hehehehe,

There's a guy who just bought a new mercedes convertible, a very nice car. So on a beautiful summer's evening he decides to go for a little ride. He enjoys a beautiful scenery, and on his way home, he says to himself: "why not find out how fast this car really is..." So he pushes the accelerator and the car shoots off like a rocket. Within no time he reaches 160km/h (100mph). But what does he see in his rear view mirror: a police car trying to catch up. "There's no way they'll ever keep up with this car", he sais to himself, pushing his car even harder. And so he reaches 180km/h... 200... 220... 230 even, but the cop car is still right on his tail. "What the hell am I doing", he sais, and decides to pull over.

So now he has a huge cop approaching his door. He opens his window and the officer immediately starts talking to him:
"Sir, I've had a long, frustrating day today, and you're the last one I'm gonna pull over. I really, really don't feel like doing the paperwork, so I'm gonna give you a chance: If you can give me a really good reason for driving so d**n fast, I might let you go. But I do mean a REALLY good reason."

"Well, officer, it's like this. Last week, my wife ran off with a police officer and I was afraid you'd bring her back..."

To which the officer replies: "alright... have a nice evening, and drive safe!"

reagan
07.07.20, 11:04 AM
hehe.... very good reason, sir bonnie..... :D

Eto naman....

How to be annoying at a Drive-Thru (A Guide): Hehehe.....

1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order.
2. Ask the price of almost everything on the menu and then order something that you didn't ask the price for.
3. Tell the employee that your window is broken. Order and then pay with your door open. When the food comes, roll down the window and snatch your order from their hands.
4. Go to McDonald's and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight.
5. Pay for a large order in cents.
6. Order in another language.
7. When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window-shopping and drive on.
8. Laugh sadistically when asked if you would like ketchup.
9. Ask the cashier how they fit into that little box.
10. If they make you wait, make them wait when they come back on.
11. Demand to speak to the manager. When they come on, complain that you did not like the way the employee said, "May I take your order?"
12. When asked if they can take your order say, "Why, can I take yours?"
13. If they ask you to wait, order anyway and keep doing it till they yell at you.
14. Pretend your car has broken down. Ask for assistance moving it. When they come out, drive away.
15. Tell them you have to use the bathroom.
16. Order a cup of water and two napkins. That's it.
17. Don't order when they come on. Just sit there. If a line forms behind you, get out of the car and cause a scene.
18. When they hand you your food, hand them a bag with all the trash from your car in it.
19. Just stare at them when you pay and get your food. Don't break your stare.
20. Honk your horn the whole way through the line.

Bonnie
07.07.20, 03:14 PM
Eto ang i try natin, padala ng friend ko sa email ko...

Ganito magbigay ng masamang balita


KUMIRIRING ang telepono nang madaling araw....

"Hello, Master Carlos? Si Arnaldo po ito, 'yung katiwala niyo sa
bahay-bakasyunan niyo."

"O, Mr. Arnaldo, ikaw pala. Ano't napatawag ka? May problema ba?

"Um, napatawag lang po ako para abisuhan kayo na namatay ang alaga
niyong parrot."

"'Yung parrot kong si Pikoy, patay? 'Yung nanalo sa bird show?

"Opo, Master Carlos, 'yun na nga po."

"Putris ... sayang! Ang laki pa naman ng nagastos ko sa ibong 'yon.
Hay,
buhay! Teka, ano nga ba ang ikinamatay niya?"

"E, kumain po kasi ng bulok na karne...."

"Bulok na karne? At sino namang salbaheng tao ang nagpakain sa kanya ng
bulok na karne?"

"W-Wala po. Nanginain po siya ng karne ng isang patay na kabayo."

"Patay na kabayo? Anong patay na kabayo, Mr Arnaldo?"

"E,
'yun pung mga thoroughbred horses niyo, Sir. Namatay po kasi lahat
sila sa pagod, kahihila ng kariton ng tubig."

"Nasisiraan ka na ba ng bait? Anong kariton ng tubbbiiiiggggg?"

"'Yun pong pinampatay namin ng sunog."

"Diyos ko po! Anong sunog naman 'yang pinagsasasabi mo?"

"'Yun pong halos tumupok sa bahay niyo.... Tumumba po 'yung isang
nakasinding kandila, tapos nagliyab 'yung kurtina at mabilis na kumalat
ang apoy...."

"Ano? Puuut.... E, may kuryente naman diyan sa bahay-bakasyunan, a.
Para
saan 'yung kandila?"

"Para sa burol po."

"Ano? Kaninong burol?

"Sa nanay n'yo po, Sir. Bigla kasi siya dumating dito nu'ng isang gabi,
walang kaabi-abiso. Lampas hatinggabi na. Akala ko po magnanakaw.
Binaril ko."

Tracy
07.07.20, 03:30 PM
ROFLMAO ROFLMAO ROFLMAO

yuanbautista
07.07.21, 10:54 PM
your boss caught you sleeping on the job? one of these might save you from losing it...

1. " ... in Jesus' name. Amen."

Nung nabasa ko to, bigla kong naalala yung kasama ko. It wasn't during work but our serious study period. Nahuling nakatungo ng brother assistant. Nung kinalabit biglang nag-krus at 'Amen'. Sermon pa rin inabot niya kasi di naman daw oras ng meditation. hehe. :P

jose
07.07.23, 12:07 PM
haha. yuan, palagay ko nga marami nang gumamit nitong style na to e, hehe... yung isang kaibigan ko naman, nakatulog sa class, nakayuko sa desk, nung tinawag ng teacher, nag-krus sabay 'amen', haha... naalala ko tuloy yung isa ko naman kaibigan na natutulog sa jeep. nakasabit yung kamay nya sa handrail tapos nakapatong yung ulo nya sa braso nya, nang biglang napabitiw sya sa handrail so natural nahulog yung ulo nya, sabay pulot ng coin na kanina pa nya tinatapakan, hehe, kaya pala sya nag-ipit ng coin sa ilalim ng sapatos nya, haha...

reagan, natawa ako sa "drive thru guide" mo, haha...gusto ko subukan minsan, haha...

Alna_lou
07.07.23, 12:50 PM
1. " ... in Jesus' name. Amen."
in fairness,I tried that palusot dun sa REL ED subject koh...and guess what...EFFECTIVE! LOL LOL

Alna_lou
07.07.25, 11:50 AM
Apoy at bato


Nagpahula ang mag-ina kay Madam Auring....

Madam Auring: Bukas mamamatay ang anak mo sa apoy at bato.

Mag-ina: Naku! Umuwi na tayo at mag-ingat tayo, baka pa tayo maaksidente.

Kinabukasan. Galit na galit ang ina, pinuntahan niya ang manghuhula.

Sabi ng ina: Sabi mo mamamatay ang anak ko sa apoy at bato, bakit nasagasaan?

Madam Auring: Huminahon ka, puntahan natin ang lugar ng aksidente.

Pinuntahan nga nila.

Madam Auring: Sabi ko na nga ba at mamamatay siya sa apoy at bato.

Ina: Ano? Nakikita mo bang nasagasaan siya, tapos sasabihin mong apoy at bato?

Madam Auring: Tingnan mo nga ang gulong na nakasagasa: FIRESTONE!!!

Bonnie
07.07.25, 12:26 PM
Apoy at bato


Ina: Ano? Nakikita mo bang nasagasaan siya, tapos sasabihin mong apoy at bato?

Madam Auring: Tingnan mo nga ang gulong na nakasagasa: FIRESTONE!!!

Hehehehehe, sa bato at apoy nga talaga, nasa tatak ng gulong ang pruweba, hehehehe.

bingo
07.07.25, 02:54 PM
oo nga naman....:)

manoiskee
07.07.25, 07:32 PM
Apoy at bato


Nagpahula ang mag-ina kay Madam Auring....

Madam Auring: Bukas mamamatay ang anak mo sa apoy at bato.

Mag-ina: Naku! Umuwi na tayo at mag-ingat tayo, baka pa tayo maaksidente.

Kinabukasan. Galit na galit ang ina, pinuntahan niya ang manghuhula.

Sabi ng ina: Sabi mo mamamatay ang anak ko sa apoy at bato, bakit nasagasaan?

Madam Auring: Huminahon ka, puntahan natin ang lugar ng aksidente.

Pinuntahan nga nila.

Madam Auring: Sabi ko na nga ba at mamamatay siya sa apoy at bato.

Ina: Ano? Nakikita mo bang nasagasaan siya, tapos sasabihin mong apoy at bato?

Madam Auring: Tingnan mo nga ang gulong na nakasagasa: FIRESTONE!!!

ehehehe, actually napanood ko ito noong unang panahon sa TODAS.

jose
07.07.26, 10:33 AM
ahaha, talaga manoiskee? panahon pa ng todas pa to? haha... kunsabagay, may firestone pa ba ngayon? hindi ba puro goodyear na? hehe

Bonnie
07.08.01, 05:32 PM
Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were
sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 story sky scraper.
After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the
elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb
75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill said to Jim and
Scott, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by
concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25
flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can
tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill
stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor
Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories. "I will
tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in
the car!"

bingo
07.08.01, 05:56 PM
wahahahaha... bababa na naman sila? kung ako sa kanila ipakuha na lang kay scott...

Bonnie
07.08.01, 06:11 PM
Hehehehe, 75 floor , kahirap bumaba noon hehehe, nakakalungkot nga talagang story pareng Bingo.

Eto try natin pareng Bingo.

There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him.

An angel hears his plea and appears to him.
"Sorry, but you can't take your wealth with you."
The man implores the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules.

The man continues to pray that his wealth could follow him.

The angel reappears and informs the man that God has decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathers his largest suitcase and fills it with pure gold bars and places it beside his bed.

Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at the Gates of Heaven to greet St. Peter.

Seeing the suitcase St. Peter says,
"Hold on, you can't bring that in here!"

But, the man explains to St. Peter that he has permission and asks him to verify his story with the Lord. Sure enough, St. Peter checks and comes back saying,
"You're right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I'm supposed to check its contents before letting it through."

St. Peter opens the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaims,
"You brought pavement?!!!"

bingo
07.08.02, 02:22 PM
wehehehe dami nga naman nun sa langit bro...

Bonnie
07.08.03, 12:11 PM
hehehe, pavement lang pala ang ginto sa langit, ahehehehe

One Man's Lifelong Plan by M. Stanley Bubien

There lives a man who last year turned 120, and this is how it all came to be.

"I think I know," he once said long ago, "that people don't live to 120 because that's an age they never plan to see."

Realizing he was onto something, the man took pen in hand and furiously he began to wildly plan his life's every age onto a little yellow page.

"Here's where I'll graduate," he said, pointing toward a tiny 28.

He scratched an X straight through a scrawling 32, and with a sigh he blew, "I'll have sweat my way to a corporate level obtained only by a few."

Come 41? "The year I'll have kids, which should be fun!" And at an ominous 75? "Well grandkids, sakes alive!"

As you've probably guessed, to friends and family this seemed quite ludicrous. But he shrugged them off saying, "When I turn 120, who'll be scoffing?" (Certainly nobody, he well knew, since by then each one would be in their coffin.)

Well it turns out that life progressed exactly as predicted by the man. From college to corporation, through children and grandchildren---all the way to his 120th birthday, his life followed that perfect plan.

It must be said a year after turning 120 he's grown too tired to move much anymore. But when his children's children's children come visit, he gathers them close, and with a weary wave of that even yellower page, he shakes his head and says, "I planned for 120 years. Not 121!"

kateri
07.08.04, 12:06 AM
i haven't visited the board much recently so i'm not sure kung nai-post na eto...sana mag-enjoy kayo ;-)

A LOVE STORY
May persona ingrata from my alma mother
who asked for my number so we can keep
intact.

Sabi ko connect me if i'm wrong, but are
you asking me ouch?

Sabi nya: The?!! I mean, tell me to the
marines ang kapal! The nerd!

Naiyak ako sa galit. i cried buckles of
tears.

Tapos sinabi nya: Don't cry. Isipin mo
nalang this is a blessing in the sky.
Irregardless of my feelings lets go out
na rin.

Now we're so inlove. Mute and epidemic na
yung past. Thanks god we swallowed our
fried. Kasi i'm 33 na and im running our
time.. After 2 weeks, he asked me will
you marriage me?

Hay, talagang when it rains its
four.This is true good to be true! Love
is a many splendor at kahit hindi sya
gaanong cute, beauty is in the eyes
naman d ba?

Sabi nya: liketwice. Kaya advise ko sa
inyo take the risk. Just burn the bridge
when you get there. Life is shorts. If
you make a misktake, we'll just pray for
the external repose of your soul. I
second emotion...

hehehehe... it's up for you to
understand the story... hehehehe

Bonnie
07.08.04, 02:20 PM
hehehehe... it's up for you to
understand the story... hehehehe

Ano pa, hehehehe, nawala talaga ako don kateri, hehehehe.

inday25er
07.08.06, 06:56 AM
"the nerd!" Ahahaha! Ako nag-enjoy! :D Thanks ate kateri!

jose
07.08.06, 09:31 AM
wahaha, nice one kateri! ako din nag-enjoy. everyone, let's keep "intact", wehehe... LOL

inday25er
07.08.06, 09:30 PM
A true ghost story

This story happened a year ago along the Tagaytay Road.

There was a guy who got left behind by a pack of mountain bikers. The group was large and he didn't bring a cellphone. He crashed his bike somewhere between Picnic Grove and DBP. To make things worse, a storm came in. So he walked. This guy was on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night in the middle of a storm. The night passed slowly and no cars went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few meters ahead of him.

Suddenly, just before the junction going to Manila, he saw a car slowly looming, ghostlike, out of the gloom. It slowly crept toward him and stopped. It was raining hard, wind blowing all around you, what would you do? Like you would, he got into the car and closed the door, then realized that there was nobody behind the wheel. The car slowly started moving again. The guy was terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running. The guy saw that the car was slowly approaching a sharp curve. The guy started to pray, begging for his life; he was sure the ghost car would go off the road and he would plunge to his death, when just before the curve, a hand appeared thru the window and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. Terrified, the guy watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve. Finally, the guy gathered his wits and leaped from the car and ran to the nearest place where there were houses. Wet and in shock, he went into a store and voice quavering, ordered 2 bottles of San Mig Lite, and told the people about his horrible, supernatural experience. A silence enveloped everybody when they realized the guy was apparently sane and not drunk.



About half an hour later two guys walked into the same store. One says to the other, "Yan...siya nga yung sumakay habang nagtutulak tayo...!"

Bonnie
07.08.06, 09:42 PM
Heheehehehee, ganon.... kala ko talaga ghost story, ahahahaha.

A wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening. The woman of the house decided to give their butler, Jerves, the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late, and that he should just enjoy his evening.

As it turned out, however, the wife wasn't having a good time at the party, so she came home early, alone. Her husband had to stay there, as several of his important clients were there.

As the woman walked into her house, she saw Jerves sitting by himself in the dining room. She called for him to follow her, and led him into the master bedroom. She then closed and locked the door.

She looked at him and smiled. "Jerves," she said."Take off my dress." He did this carefully."Jerves," she continued." Take off my stockings and garter." He silently obeyed her. "Jerves," she then said. "Remove my bra and panties." As he did this, the tension continued to mount.

She looked at him and then said, "Jerves, if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired!"

jose
07.08.07, 11:02 AM
patawa lang ng dalawa... wehehe...wehehe...

Bonnie
07.08.07, 08:04 PM
Try natin to, hehehehe.

A seventy-five year old man won a million dollars in the Lottery. He had a bad heart, and the family was afraid the news might kill him. So they had the priest come and tell him, which he did in this way - asking him what he would do if he won a million dollars. Said the old man, "I'd give you and the church half of it."

The priest fell over dead.

kateri
07.08.07, 09:27 PM
haha, kala ko din ghost story inday! hehehe

Bonnie
07.08.08, 12:15 PM
Four Son

These 4 gents go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee.

"My son Kent," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful in fact, in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift."

The second man, no to be out done, tells how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. "Norm's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave his friend two brand new cars as a gift."

The third man's son, Greg, has worked his way up through a stock brokerage, and in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.

As the fourth man arrives at the tee, another tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line his son is in.

"To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased with how my son turned out," he replies. "For 15 years, Chico's been a hairdresser, and I've just recently discovered he's gay. However, on the bright side, he must be good at what he does because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars, and a big pile of stock certificates."

doods
07.08.19, 11:09 PM
Hehehehe, 3 sons lang ata yon, ano sa tingin mo?

bingo
07.08.19, 11:36 PM
wehehehe... nice one kuya bonnie...

Bonnie
07.08.21, 10:49 AM
hehehehe, try natin uli ito.

STILL THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY?

A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle when it accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handle bars, was dragged through the glass patio doors and along with the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house. The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room and found her husband lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle lying next to him, and the shattered patio door. The wife ran to the phone and summoned the ambulance. Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the several flights of stairs to the street to escort the paramedics to her husband.

After the ambulance arrived and transported the man to the hospital, the wife righted the motorcycle and pushed it outside. Seeing that gas was spilled on the floor, the wife got some paper towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet. The man was treated and released to come home. Upon arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle.

He became despondent, went to the bathroom, sat down on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl, while seated. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard the loud explosion and her husband screaming.

She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs, and his groin. The wife again ran to the phone to call the ambulance. The very same paramedic crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street. The paramedics loaded the husband on to the stretcher and began carrying him to the street. While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned himself. She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them slipped and tipped the stretcher, dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs and broke his arm

Kuya G.
07.08.21, 12:48 PM
Nice one kuya bonnie! ROFLMAO

jose
07.08.22, 10:13 AM
hahaha...kawawang husband...

herald
07.08.22, 12:18 PM
Head Line:

Bulag nakapatay...
Dahilan... nagdilim daw paningin...

Bonnie
07.08.22, 09:28 PM
eto try natin, hehehehe

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9!

herald
07.08.23, 12:14 PM
becauce 7 8 9

bingo
07.08.27, 11:16 AM
you're right bro herald... 7 "ate" 9

ajeric234
07.08.29, 09:07 AM
Anong apelyido ni Josie?

jose
07.08.30, 10:38 AM
ang apelyido ba ni josie ay pin? ??? hehe...

herald
07.08.30, 12:28 PM
eh si joseph ano ang apelyido... saka si pikachu ano ang name nya.. pati pala si Christopher kilala nyo???

Alna_lou
07.08.30, 03:42 PM
Kuya Herald...sa pagkakaalam ko, ang apelyido ni Joseph ay 'prutgam'...siya si JOSEPH PRUTGAM! haha...tama po ba?
yong si Pikachu at Christopher ay di ko pa po kilala....hahaha LOL LOL LOL

Bonnie
07.08.30, 08:42 PM
Kuya Herald...sa pagkakaalam ko, ang apelyido ni Joseph ay 'prutgam'...siya si JOSEPH PRUTGAM! haha...tama po ba?
yong si Pikachu at Christopher ay di ko pa po kilala....hahaha LOL LOL LOL

Ahehehehe, patawa ka dyan Alna_lou, ahehehehe, siguro mahilig kang mag juicyfruitgum ano, curious lang ako sa answer, tama nga ba yon Herald. hahahaha.

herald
07.08.31, 08:30 AM
alna_lou, tama ka apelyido ni joseph PRUTGAM!..

Alna_lou
07.08.31, 09:32 AM
wahaha...Im correct....hehehe....
Kuya Herals, parang pang 'pampagulo ng isip' po tong post nyo..hahahaha...
btw, sino po ba si Pikachu and Christopher?

jose
07.08.31, 10:47 AM
joseph prutgam! wahaha...

curious ako sa mga apelyido ni pikachu at Christopher...wehehe...

nice one herald.

herald
07.08.31, 11:53 AM
ok sige na nga eto na. si Pikachu ang pangalan nya ay Cherry Pie, aty si Christopher ang apelyido nya Min....

Kaya Cherry Pie Pikachu at Christopher Min.

he he he

Kuya G.
07.08.31, 07:25 PM
hahaha ayos!LOL

Thanks kuya herald!

Bonnie
07.08.31, 09:46 PM
ok sige na nga eto na. si Pikachu ang pangalan nya ay Cherry Pie, aty si Christopher ang apelyido nya Min....

Kaya Cherry Pie Pikachu at Christopher Min.

he he he

Hahahahaha, oo nga ano, Bravo Herald, sinimplehan mo lang ah, ahahahaha.

jose
07.09.03, 09:54 AM
hahaha...

grabe nadala ako ng christopher min...

Alexander
07.09.03, 06:25 PM
Cristy Fermin pala at Cherry Pie Picache.... LOL

Alexander
07.09.03, 06:27 PM
wahaha...Im correct....hehehe....
Kuya Herals, parang pang 'pampagulo ng isip' po tong post nyo..hahahaha...
btw, sino po ba si Pikachu and Christopher?

Picachu.... kung nanonood ka ng POKEMON.... eto sya
http://www.glass-panes.com/Images/Web-Picachu.jpg

royal haggardness
07.09.03, 10:31 PM
Quick question po, do I need to browse through the rest of the conversation to understand and get the topic being talked about, hehehe. Just asking po... I'll try to. God Speed everyone! :)

jose
07.09.04, 10:54 AM
well yun lang sigurong mga seryosong usapan ang mga kelangan mo talagang basahin from the start. pero yung threads like these, may option kang basahin na lang yung current conversation. but if you chose to read it from the start, you might find yourself rotflol cause i did myself, hehe... anyway, have fun :D

Bonnie
07.09.04, 03:13 PM
Quick question po, do I need to browse through the rest of the conversation to understand and get the topic being talked about, hehehe. Just asking po... I'll try to. God Speed everyone! :)

Feel free to browse, ok naman ang mga previous thread, nakakatuwa.

Eto tray natin::

Tomas: Ang galing ng aso ko! Tuwing umaga, dala niya ang dyaryo sa akin.

Diego: Alam ko.

Tomas: Ha? Paano mo nalaman?

Diego: Ikinukuwento sa akin ng aso ko.

Kuya G.
07.09.04, 07:26 PM
royal haggardness, kung masipag ka and trip mo basahin lahat well oks lang sigurado naman mageenjoy ka hehehe.:)

Regards!

royal haggardness
07.09.05, 12:59 AM
Thanks po to the three of you. If I have time po, I'll browse thorugh everything. LOL!!! Goodluck sakin! :)

silveryellow
07.09.05, 06:35 AM
Did you hear about the idiot who decided to take an IQ test?
It came out negative.

jose
07.09.05, 10:08 AM
patawa muna ng dalawa... wahaha sa aso...wahaha sa iq test...

herald
07.09.05, 01:01 PM
news flash....


Barbero tumestigo....

Hindi pinaniwalaan sa korter...

jose
07.09.06, 10:22 AM
sus! kwentong barbero lang yan, haha...

herald
07.09.06, 12:47 PM
eto pa...


Janitor sumali sa Basketball...

Team nila nilampaso...

Bonnie
07.09.06, 11:31 PM
Q:anong lugar ang maraming cow??? A: edi "maCOW"

Ano sa chinese ang: This song is dedicated for my uncle and aunt?

answer : tongkanta kongto kaytyiong attyiang

silveryellow
07.09.07, 12:32 AM
" I stay awake in the coldness of the darkened sky, contemplating why, for some reasons, has my emptiness made itself manifest, extending to that niche where I was given life and growth, that because of austerity, I was made separated from..."



--Inday, habang hindi makatulog dahil naho-homesick.

:D

jose
07.09.07, 12:40 PM
--sabay "Indaaaaay! Buksan mo yung gate, andyan na Kuya Dante mooo!!!" :D

Kuya G.
07.09.07, 01:43 PM
USE IN A SENTENCE:

Use BE COOL and I'LL BUY in a sentence.
...The tourist went to Mayon volcano
in I'LL BUY, BE COOL.

Use SCHOOLING in a sentence.
...(phone rings).....Hello? Who
SCHOOLING?

Use AFFECT in a sentence.
...Maria is wearing AFFECT diamond
ring.

Use ADIEU in a sentence.
...If you are ADIEU, the Arabs will kill
you.

Use DECANTER in a sentence.
...You can order that medicine over
DECANTER.

AND NOW FOR THE FILIPINOS WHO CAN
READ AND UNDERSTAND TAGALOG:

Use BORROW in a sentence.
...Ang dumi naman ng BORROW mo.

Use CAESAREAN in a sentence.
...Lintek, anak, mag-ingat ka,
CAESAREAN mo iyang laruan mo.

Use CONTEMPLATE in a sentence.
...Pare, ang dami-daming pagkain,
pero, ko-CONTEMPLATE.

Use CADET in a sentence.
...CADET ko si Maria nung isang gabi.
Ngayon, ikaw naman ang
CADET niya.

Use CARDIAC in a sentence.
...Na CARDIAC yung kotse ni Pedro
noong isang gabi.

Use CENTURION in a sentence.
...Na-CENTURION si Pedro ng tatay
niya dahil sa kalokohan niya.

Use DEDICATE in a sentence.
...Pag ginamitan ng glue, siguradong
DEDICATE iyan.

Use DELICACY in a sentence.
...Bagal mo... DELICACY mahuhuli na tayo.

Use DEPRECIATE in a sentence.
...Sister, DEPRECIATE already, kaya
pwede na tayong kumain.

Use DIFFUSION in a sentence.
...Brownout...siguradong DIFFUSION
pumutok.

Use LAITY in a sentence.
...Taga "laity" si Imelda Marcos.

Use MENTION in a sentence.
...Ang laki ng bahay nila, parang MENTION.

Bonnie
07.09.07, 06:47 PM
Haba non kuya gi ah, hehehehe

isang araw...

Bata:nay bilhin mo ko ng saranggola oh...
Nanay: anak, wag na yong saranggola yung
tinapay nalang...
Bata: ayoko nay! gusto ko saranggola...
Nanay(naiinis) Mabubusog ka ba pag binili
mo yang saranggola?
Bata: nay! bakit yang tinapay mo nakakalipad ba yan?

silveryellow
07.09.07, 10:59 PM
AMO: Inday, bumili ka nga ng mga isda...
Ay oo nga pala, inglesera ka na ngayon.
Would you please buy many fishes for this week's meals?

INDAY: Judging by your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fishes.
The term "fishes" although rarely used, connotes a plethora of different kinds
of the said aquatic creatures. But the more pressing questions before I go to
the wet market would be: what type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen or fresh?
(pauses) Ahhh, given the meager budget afforded by this household's
quasi-peasant class taste, I assume I shall source the staple "ga-lewng-gong."
Am I correct?

AMO: Leche!

:D :D

blueforgetmenot
07.09.07, 11:44 PM
read this! hehehe eto ang usapan pag nagsamasama ang mga taong tulad ko..

A very inspiring story

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,
"Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm
sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some
straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I
can
track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on "START".




:):):)

royal haggardness
07.09.08, 02:26 AM
Forwarded to me by my officemate/friend... ENJOY!!! (Hope the content doesn't break any board rule nor offend anyone, hehehe)

Street Vendor : "bili na kayo ng relo! gold watch ito!
pag namuti, white gold!
pag huminto stopwatch!"

gf : hu hu hu hu bakit natin ginawa ito? hindi na ako
virgin at dalawang beses pa natin ginawa!
bf : ano? isa lang ah?!
gf : bakit, hindi na ba natin uulitin mamaya?!

Couple talking:
wife : hon, paki fix naman ilaw sa labas.
husband : hello!? electrician ba ako?
wife : eh di pkigawa na lang hagdan natin.
husband : hello!? karpintero ba ako?
umalis c husband, pagbalik gawa na lahat ng sira sa
bahay. tinanong niya wife kung sino gumawa ng trabaho.
wife : kasi kanina a man saw me crying, sabi ko dami
sira dito sa bahay. so he offered to help in exhange of either sex or bake
ako ng cake.
husband : so pnag-bake mo siya ng cake?
wife : hello?! baker ba ako?!

ANG MARRIED LIFE....
May isang intsik na sa sobrang hilig sa karaoke ay
inabot ng 5 am.
Dahil sa takot mabugbog ni misis, nag-text ng:
"HUWAG KA BAYAD RANSOM. NAKATAKAS AKO. UWI NA KO!"

Husband: "Paratina lang tayo away! Maghiwalay na lang tayo!"
Wife: "Sige, maghati tayo ng mga anak!"
Husband: "Akin ang mga guwapo at maganda!"
Wife: "Sus! Pinili pa yung hindi kanya!"

Sa harap ng nursery window;
Friend: Pare, pag laki ng anak mo, am sure magaling mag-drive
Dad: Bakit, pare, malaki ba ang kamay?
Friend: Hindi. Kasi kamukha siya ng driver ninyo!

Husband came home from church, suddenly lifted his wife
and carried her.
Wife: Why? Did the Pastor tell you to be romantic like this?
Husband: No! He told me to carry my cross!

Friend: "Wow, pare, ganda ng sapatos mo, ah!"
Husband: "Oo. Surprise gift ng kumare mo!"
Friend: "Surprise? Ano occassion?"
Husband: "Wala. Nakita ko na lang sa ilalim ng kama namin kagabi!"

Health Advisory: "Beer contains female hormones, and can
turn men into women.
After 5 pints.... men become talkative, unreasonable,
irritable, cry for nothing, and urinate while sitting!"

WIFE: I'm warning you! Parating na husband ko in 1 hour!
HANDSOME VISITOR: Wala naman akong ginawang masama ah?
WIFE: kaya nga! kung may balak ka, GAWIN MONA!!!

WIFE: Himala! aga mong umuwi ngayon.
HUSBAND: Sunod ko lang utos ng boss ko. Sabi nya "GO TO
HELL", kaya ito uwi agad ako..

Wife: Lab, may taning na ang buhay ko. Huling gabi ko na
to, let's make love.
Husband: Heh! tumigil ka nga. Maaga pa akong gigising
bukas, buti ikaw, hindi na.

Population policies of countries:
China : Stop at 1 child.
Singapore : Stop at 2 children
Phil: STOP AT 4 A.M. !

RUSSIAN: we're 1st in space
USA : we're 1st in the moon
ERAP: we'll be the 1st in the sun
USA : you can't go there, you'll burn
ERAP: we're not stupid, we'll go there at NIGHT!

Ano kadalasan ang sinasabi kapag nautot?
American: Excuse me.
British: Pardon me.
Pinoy: NOT ME!

Kuya G.
07.09.10, 09:12 AM
Hi blueforgetmenot & royal haggardness, thanks so much!:ecstatic:

blueforgetmenot
07.09.10, 03:48 PM
hellow din kuya g..

"its better to cross the line and suffer the consequences than just to stare at the line for the rest of your life......"

main rule sa patintero

herald
07.09.10, 04:15 PM
Si Dan na taga Bicol...

Si Dan Isang TNT sa America... nag malling nung unang araw nya pa lang duon....

namili at nagpunta na sa Cashier...

CASHIER: VISA or MasterCard??
DAN(Pabulong): Naku!!, hinahanapan akop ng Visa, makaalis na nga...

Tumawag si Dan sa kanyang kaibigan para humingi ng tulong...

Dial sa Phone...

VOICE Prompt: Welcome to AT&T
DAN: Patay!!< alam na nilang TNT ako...

nanginginig sa takot si Dan ng may dumating sng dalawang mama...

MAN 1: Hey!, are you Done??
DAN: HwaH!!!, kilala na nila ako....

Lumabas syang nagmamadali nabangga ang pangalawang mama..

MAN 2: hey!!, be cool man, be cool..
DAN: Uwi na ko!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, pati pinanggalingan ko alam nila....

Ayun, biglang napauwi si Dan sa takot....

THE END

silveryellow
07.09.11, 12:42 PM
Bakit di mataas ang highway?
Dahil kung mataas ang highway, walang paglalagyan ng skyway.

Ba't alang lumilipad na sasakyan sa flyover?
Hindi lang natin nakikita ang mga nagliliparang sasakyan sapagkat hindi tayo tumutingala kapag tayo ay nasa flyover. Ang pagsalin ng dayuhang salita na flyover sa katutubong wika ay "fly"-lipad, "over"-sa ibabaw. Ibig sabihin nito na ang mga kotse ay hindi lumilipad sa flyover ngunit sa ibabaw ng flyover. Ngayon kung titingala ka naman kapag ikaw ay nasa flyover ang tangi mong makikita ay ang kisame ng iyong sasakyan. Alam kong wala sa inyong mayroong sasakyan na Miata, Boxster, Kompressor, Z3, Z8 at kung ano-ano pang kotseng pangmayaman kaya't huwag na kayong magpumilit mamilosopo...ako lang ang may karapatan. Kung idadahilan niyo naman na mayroon kayong sunroof, hanapin ninyo ang inyong tinatawag na "sense of humor". Namamatay ng maaga ang palaging seryoso.

:D

manoiskee
07.09.11, 04:08 PM
something i lifted from another forum:
complete (yata) collection of the "inday" text messages:

“I stay awake in the coldness of the darkened sky contemplating why, for some reasons, has my emptiness made itself manifests, extending to that niche where I was given life and growth, that because of austerity I was made separated from…”
- Inday… hindi makatulog dahil nahohomesick

“I am solitary. I find it hard to succumb into slumber, though the downpour of rain should’ve made it easy. This exuberant emotional glue I have for you, cannot be simply washed away. The multiplicity of what I feel for you is inevitable. This isn’t platonic. It’s real, true romance.”
- Inday, nageemote sa may bintana, habang iniisip si Dodong, ang boyfriend niya

“The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocation. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!”
- ganito nakipagbreak si Inday kay Dodong (driver ng kapitbahay)

- - - -
Amo: Inday bumili ka nga ng mga isda.. o nga pla inglesira ka… would you please purchase many fishes for our this week’s meals?

Inday: Judging from your statement I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term “fishes”, although rarely and even erroneously used, connotes a plethora or an array of different kinds of the aforementioned gilled creatures. But the more pressing questions before I traveresed the road to the wet market would be: What certain type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen or just right smack the day’s catch? (Pauses) Aaah… by manner of careful extrapolation, given the meager budget in this houshold’s quasi-peasant middle class taste, I assume then I will source the staple “galewng-gowng”. Am I correct?

Amo: grrrrr! (edited)

Inday: You meant the freshwater milkfish? Then the “ba-ngooz” is it!

- - - -
“La vida no es una broma actualmente. El dinero es tan duro de pasar. Puede usted bajar el precio parci mi? Soy ya su compradora avido diario por favor?
- si Inday tumatawad sa merkado ng isinama siya ng amo sa España

*Drunken shrimp and blue lobster meat with caviar served with milagrosa rice (red variety) and apricot sauce
*Vegetables in balsamic vinegar splashed with extra virgin olive olive
*Lychee and peach salad with sour cream cheese topped with lemon zests
- baon ni Junior sa daycare na inihanda ni Inday

“Ipomea aquatica has become the constant ingredient to this Filipino delicacy which is very helpful in the digestion during the peristaltic process of the food we intake. Due to the continuous rains and floods, the harvest of the said vegetable has lessen the production in the market.”
- banat ni Inday kung bakit walang “kangkong” sa nilutong sinigang

“Heavy fire that exerted by the stimulus affect the best conductor of heat which is the steel, causing the “oriza sativa” which is the scientific name of rice to change its state of color, smell as well as the taste.”
- sagot ni Inday nang tanungin siya ng amo kung bakit nasunog ang sinaing

“Off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!”
- si Inday, pinapaalis ang makulit na pulubi sa gate… (Taray talaga ni Inday!)

“Allergens triggered the immune response. Eosinophilic migration occurs to the reaction site and release of chemotactic and anaphylotoxin including histamine and prostaglandins. These substance results to increase circulation to the site promoting redness.”
- sagot ni inday nun tanungin ni sir kung bakit may rashes si Junior

- - - -
Amo: Day! Bakit may bukol si Junior?!

Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy’s cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.

Amo: (Di nakareact)

- - - -
“Dear Mom,

Had it not been for the smelling salt, I must have collapsed moment ago. Junior has become a little monster to me. Remember the head accident he had? As if it wasn’t enough, he was summoned by the principal of his shabily run academe. Oh such an erudite bunch of baboons! I never lot being a governess can be such a strenuous employ.

Your daughter,
Inday”


“Dear Inday,

Salbahe ka! Magpadala ka ng pera! Nasa ospital nanay mo, dumugo ang ilong kababasa ng pesteng sulat mo!

Tatay”

- - - -
Mister: Bakit tuwing pag-uwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng TV??!!!

Inday: Because I don’t want you to see me doing absolutely nothing!

- - - -
Amo: Inday di ba nanood ka ng The Buzz kahapon? Bakit daw umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA7?

Inday: Sometimes people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they just know that things will get worse if they’ll stay. Leaving can be a tough act and it’s harder when people can’t understand you for doing so.

- - - -
“Physical stress and excessive work may result to serious damage to one’s body. It is therefore essential that once in a while we take a break from our usual routine to replenish the lost energy we once had.”
- sabi ni Inday sa amo noong humingi siya ng dayoff

- - - -
Misis: Inday, bakit mo binenta yung sirang silya?

Inday: I have computed the chair's fair value less cost to sell, and the value in use using projections for 5 years and a pre-tax discount rate. Accordingly, the value in use is lower, so I decided to sell the chair. This in accordance with PAS18 on Revenue, PAS16 on Property, Plant, and Equipment, and PAS36 on Impairment of Assets!

Misis: ADIK ka talaga Inday!

jose
07.09.11, 04:24 PM
hahaha...san ba makikita yang si inday na yan? iha-hire kong househelp at magpapaturo ako ng inggles. i need to be polish my ingles you know. LOL

*******************************************

o eto naman:

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was
taken.

"You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't
care where."

"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted
the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the
truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained
in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."

"No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it."

The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and
bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" Asked the manager.

"Never better."

The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?"

"Nope, I shut him up in no time." Said the Marine.

"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.

"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine
explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight,
beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."

royal haggardness
07.09.12, 12:58 AM
Just wanted to add to the Inday series...

Dear Ma'am/Sir:

I hereby tender my irrevocable resignation as your employee effective today. It has been a pleasant stay in your company, but owing to personal reasons I am compelled to move on. I would like to thank you and your good management for the wonderful experience accorded to me during my stay in your company...

-resignation letter ni Inday

....

I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of the work that you want, my creativity, productivity and work-efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress.

- sagot ni Inday sa interview ng bago niyang amo!

...

Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.

- sagot ni Inday nang tanungin ng amo kung bakit may bukol si Junior.

...

The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amount of sodium chloride (NaCl) affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize.

- nag-explain si Inday kung bakit maalat ang ulam.

...

"attached herewith is a list of proposed acquisitio in line with my proposal to upgrade your household facilities. I have already made initial survey of the current market prices. Note however that prices could vary depending on the prevailing exchange rate and aggregate supply and demand which we also monitor on an hourly basis.

- si inday nagpapaalam para mamalengke

...

"It's absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational institution. Revise your policies because they suck!"

- Inday, kasama si Junior sa principal's office.

...

Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!

Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading for.

...

Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment to be inflicted upon you!

- si Inday, pinagbabawalan ang mga bata na maglikot.

...

"To forrestall further hopes of acquaintance, my unfathomable statement to the denial of your request. Petition denied."

- reply ni Inday nang i-text ni dodong kung pwede sya maging txtmate.

...

"much as i want to indulge in the proliferation of such indecent & malicious information, i want to lift the stigma and alleviate society's perception of our profession.. ."

- inday tumatangging nakikipagtsimisan sa katulong sa kabilang bahay

....

:)

silveryellow
07.09.12, 10:51 AM
Siya pa rin..... si Inday!


"Potatoes, when consumed in their raw state are rapidly converted to
glucose that raise insulin levels because of its simple sugar. When
cooked in high temperatures like French fries, they produce large amounts
of free radicals in the body causing aging, clotting, inflammation,
cancer, and weight gain. One French fry is much worse than one cigarette."

- Inday sa amo nya kung bakit di sya nagluluto ng French fries.
~~~~~

"Nurture others with positive, truthful words, not words that hurt. It
doesn't cost anything to do so. But mean what you say, and say what you
mean. If you cannot be generous financially, at least be generous with
your words."

- Inday nung di sya pinautang at pinagmumura pa ng amo nya.
~~~~~

"Listening to the nonsense talk about someone's life is a pathetic way
of entertainment. It doesn't contribute to the good of the society. I
hate character assassinators!"

- reklamo ni Inday nang natsismis sya ng kapitbahay!

:D :D :D

silveryellow
07.09.12, 11:12 AM
Excuse Letters:

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the shits. * words were crossed out in the ()'s

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.


:D :D

jose
07.09.13, 02:30 PM
sikat na sikat na si inday a, hehe...

eto naman, inday from the city...


CITY GIRL

Inday, a city girl, marries a farmer.

One morning, before he goes out to the fields, the
farmer says to her, “The artificial insemination man
is coming to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove
a big nail into the two-by-four over the cow’s stall.
You show him where it is.”

The farmer leaves, and a while later, the artificial
insemination man arrives. Inday takes him down the rows
of cows until she sees the nail.

She says, “This is the one, right here.”

The man says, “How do you know?”

Inday says, “By the nail over its stall.”

The man says, “What’s the nail for?”

Inday says, “I guess it’s to hang your pants on.”

Kuya G.
07.09.13, 07:05 PM
:ecstatic:ANg hahaba ng joke nyo kakatuwa!

Alna_lou
07.09.14, 10:28 AM
summa cum laude ata tong si Inday...
malamang taga HArvard yan...
wat course Inday? hehehe...

silveryellow
07.09.14, 12:52 PM
Amo 1: Inday, ano gamit mo sa katawan, ang kinis mo kasi eh?

Amo 2: Siguro gumagamit ka ng papaya..

Amo 1: Baka naman kalamansi?




Inday: No!
" Only Belo touches my skin. Who touches yours?"
LOL


Lupeeeet!!!

Kuya G.
07.09.14, 05:33 PM
Ang lefffettttt ni Inday daig pa ang amo! ahahahaha!LOL

silveryellow
07.09.15, 11:36 PM
Flash Report:

Inday is alive. She's not yet dead contrary to the news. SOCO found out that the impostora of Inday was killed instead. Ederlyn, Inday's neighbor was the mastermind.

SOCO: bakit mo pinapatay si Inday?

Ederlyn: Kasi inagaw nya sa kin si Dodong!

Inday: Sinungaling! Kahit kelan hindi ko sya inagaw sa'yo!

Ederlyn: Dong, mahal kita, diba mahal mo rin ako?


Dodong: I never..........said..... that I love you!!!


:D :D

Alna_lou
07.09.17, 09:53 AM
wahaha...ano ba yan...parang si SAM...

"I never said....that I Hate You."...baguhin lang natin ng kunti...wehehe LOL LOL LOL

herald
07.09.17, 11:57 AM
"Captain hook pumunta sa Quiapo.. pinirata...

jessabenir
07.09.18, 12:42 AM
BASAHIN ANG MGA SUMUSUNOD SA TAGALOG:

B, K, W, L, K, M, G, W, P, R, M, S, Y, T, W, K, H, H, H, T, W, P, H, H, H, T, M, N, P, R, K, N, T, NGa!

Send this to others P, R, N, man, M, K, B, wi ka! H, H, H...


Now wasn't that good? LOLLOLLOL

jessabenir
07.09.18, 01:05 AM
Me dagdag pa!

REPORTER: Tita Cory, kung buhay si Ninoy ngayon, baka pangulo na siya.
CORY: Nakabilanggo siguro.
REPORTER: bakit naman po?
CORY: baka napatay na niya si Kris.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——-
JUDGE: isa ka palang pusher, kidnapper, gun for hire, gambling lord, swindler at bugaw! Wala ka bang matinong hanapbuhay?
ACCUSED: meron po. Pulis po ako.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——-
BETH: halata na ang tiyan mo. Bakit hindi pa kayo papakasal ng BF mo?
MARIA: ayaw ng pamilya niya eh.
BETH: sino may ayaw, tatay o Nanay?
MARIA: yung misis niya.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——-
Quiapo Church :
MRS: Lord, bigyan ninyo ako ng P1,000 kasi anak ko na sa hospital.
Narinig ng pulis, naawa, binigyan ng P500.
MRS: Lord, next time huwag padaan sa pulis, nabawasan agad
———— ——— ——— ——— ——-
JEEP PASSENGER: manong bayad.
JEEP DRIVER: saan galling?
JEEP PASSENGER: sa akin.
JEEP DRIVER: papunta saan?
JEEP PASSENGER: sayo
———— ——– ——— ——— ——–
Mister: Kung gagawa ako ng pelikula, gusto ko, ako si ZORRO!
Misis: Eh ako, sino?
Mister: Si DACOS!
Misis: Dacos? Sino `yun!
Mister: DA COS of all my ZORROs!
———– ———- ———— — ———— - ——–
Job interview….
Boss: Ano ang alam mo?
Rommel: Alam ko po kung saan kayo nakatira ng misis mo, at kung saan nakatira ang kabit mo.
Boss: o cge.. tanggap ka na!
———— — ———— —- ———— - ———— ——-
Ama: Kumusta ang pag-aaral mo?
Anak: Nag-lesson at test po kami tungkol sa mga manok.
Ama: Ano, madali ba?
Anak: Chicken na chicken!
Ama: Anong grade mo?
Anak: Itlog po.
———— — ——— ———– ———- ———-
Dalawang holdaper sa bangko….
Holdaper #1: Yehey! Mayaman na tayo!
Holdaper #2: Bilangin mo na!
Holdaper: Gago! Alam mo namang mahina ako sa math. Abangan na lang natin sa balita kung magkano!
——– ———– ———– ———— ————
Guro: What is 34 books + 25 books?
Pilo: 59 books po.
Guro: Good. Ang 18 + 29 + 30 books?
Pilo: 77 books.
Guro: Very good. Now, what is 950 + 136 + 672 + 490 + 854 books?
Pilo: Ma'am, library po!

Bonnie
07.09.19, 09:42 AM
BASAHIN ANG MGA SUMUSUNOD SA TAGALOG:

B, K, W, L, K, M, G, W, P, R, M, S, Y, T, W, K, H, H, H, T, W, P, H, H, H, T, M, N, P, R, K, N, T, NGa!

Send this to others P, R, N, man, M, K, B, wi ka! H, H, H...


Now wasn't that good? LOLLOLLOL

NIce one, hehehehe

jessabenir
07.09.20, 01:33 AM
NIce one, hehehehe

Glad to be of service, po. I am glad I made someone smile today!

Koenji
07.09.20, 10:43 AM
Napanood na n'yo siguro ito, pero pangpaalis lang ng stress.

Caution lang: Some scenes may not be suited for minors. Thus, parental or theologian guidance and viewers' discretion are advised.

Church people are funny people too di ba? Be one and smile. :)

Church Bloopers
cM4jyH4RLic

herald
07.09.20, 12:36 PM
ha ha ha ha ha... pinakanatawa ako dun sa bata na hindi nakapag communion...

Si Father ha??, wala naman sigurong malisya sa ginawa nya...

manoiskee
07.09.20, 12:49 PM
ROTFLMAO

teka, kakabagan ata ako kakatawa, nyahehehe!

Kuya G.
07.09.20, 07:40 PM
ha ha ha ha ha... pinakanatawa ako dun sa bata na hindi nakapag communion...

Si Father ha??, wala naman sigurong malisya sa ginawa nya...

Wala naman siguro kasi sa toto naman eh kapag nahulog ang sacred host silang mga pari ang may responsibility dito, nagkataon nga lang na naghulog ito hindi sa floor!

kenzoblue
07.09.20, 10:12 PM
You never know what you have till you lose it, and once you lose it, you can never get it back!

- Snatcher :) ( True enough!! hehehe)

Hindi totoong anak ko si Bakekang! At lalong hindi ko kapatid si Mike Enriquez! Kaya pwede ba, tigilan na ang tsismis na yan!

- Shrek :)

Eeky Liners

Hindi lahat ng malakas, super hero!

- Putok

Kahit papaano, gusto ko din ng exposure!

- Singit

Hindi lahat ng hinog ay matamis!

- Pigsa

Alam mo ba wala akong ibang hinangad kundi ang mapalapit sa iyo. Pero patuloy ang pag-iwas mo.

- ipis

Hindi lahat ng berde ay masustansya.

- plema

Hindi lahat ng maasim may vitamin C.”

- kili kili

Huwag mo na akong bilugin..

- kulangot

Sige, kalimutan mo ako para malaman ng iba ang baho mo!

- deodorant

royal haggardness
07.09.21, 12:12 AM
Napanood na n'yo siguro ito, pero pangpaalis lang ng stress.

Caution lang: Some scenes may not be suited for minors. Thus, parental or theologian guidance and viewers' discretion are advised.

Church people are funny people too di ba? Be one and smile. :)

Bakit di ko po maview? :(

let2m26
07.09.21, 02:53 AM
[QUOTE=Koenji;29939]Napanood na n'yo siguro ito, pero pangpaalis lang ng stress.

Caution lang: Some scenes may not be suited for minors. Thus, parental or theologian guidance and viewers' discretion are advised.

Church people are funny people too di ba? Be one and smile. :)




ok sa alright hehehe sumakit tiyan ko kakatawa... nice one koenji

unbreakable
07.09.21, 03:09 AM
Napanood na n'yo siguro ito, pero pangpaalis lang ng stress.

Caution lang: Some scenes may not be suited for minors. Thus, parental or theologian guidance and viewers' discretion are advised.


Church people are funny people too di ba? Be one and smile.

weee... ngaun ko lang po napanood... it made me laugh to the max!!! ha ha ha... ROFLMAO

jose
07.09.21, 10:53 AM
Napanood na n'yo siguro ito, pero pangpaalis lang ng stress.
Church people are funny people too di ba? Be one and smile. :)



hehe funny, hahaha. gusto ko yung batang hindi nakapag-communion tsaka yung pinaliguan ng holy water LOL... hinihintay ko yung clip nung wedding na nahulog yung false teeth nung bride dun sa wine cup... wala? yun sobrang funny din e, hehe...

Bonnie
07.09.28, 09:45 PM
Napanood na n'yo siguro ito, pero pangpaalis lang ng stress.

Caution lang: Some scenes may not be suited for minors. Thus, parental or theologian guidance and viewers' discretion are advised.

Church people are funny people too di ba? Be one and smile. :)


I salute!!!!! hahahahaha

herald
07.10.01, 08:35 AM
ano pala ang apelyido ni Sisa ang nanay ni Crispin at Basillo

at Ano ang first name talaga ni Basillo??

Bonnie
07.10.01, 08:50 AM
Ano nga ba Herald? mahina ako sa history, hehehehehe.

herald
07.10.01, 11:28 AM
Si Sisa, Mistrit ang apelyido at si basillo complete name nya, Lacto Basillo

BobcatX
07.10.02, 07:51 AM
Hahaha. Nice one. ^_^ more more.

Koenji
07.10.02, 12:53 PM
Memorable ba ang wedding mo o gusto mong maging memorable iyon pagdating ng panahon? Well, iwasan lamang ang mga panyayaring nasa video. Sa kabilang banda, mas memorable siguro kung may mangyari isa man sa mga ito, 'di kaya? hehehe .... Enjoy. ROFLMAO


Wedding Bloopers
r1x4-50-2HI

rymont1979
07.10.02, 02:23 PM
Share ko lang... :)

REPORTER: Sir, kung wala po kayong evidence, witness or suspect ano na po ang next step ninyo??
Police: DNA na...
REPORTER: sir, ano po yung DNA ???
Police: "Di Namin Alam "

Man1: Away kami ni misis, nag-Historical siya
Man2: Pare baka ang ibig mo sabihin ay nag-Hysterical
Man1: Hinde, historical kasi inungkat lahat ng kasalanan ko!"

"Naglalakad ang mag-ama, nakakita ng eroplano
ANAK: Tay! Krus! Ang laking krus!
TATAY(Binatukan ang anak): Nakita mo ng krus eh! Lumuhod tayo!"


Employee: boss pwede ba ako nalang ang papalit dun pwesto sa manager natin na kamamatay lang?
Boss: ok lang sa akin na ikaw ang pumalit sa kanya, ewan ko lang kung papayag ang punerarya.

rymont1979
07.10.02, 02:25 PM
Natawa ako dito! :)

TEACHER: Anong similarity nina Jose Rizal, Andres Bonifacio, Ninoy Aquino at Apolinario Mabini?
STUDENT: Ma'am, pagkaka-alam ko po, silang lahat ay pinanganak ng holiday! ?

herald
07.10.03, 08:51 AM
oo nga, natawa din ako....=)

Koenji
07.10.03, 09:03 AM
Hehehe .... grabe naman 'to. Pero nakakaaliw din kahit exaggerated. H'wag lang pong pamarisan. Enjoy. :)


PSO1yMEiN4Q

Bonnie
07.10.03, 07:58 PM
Hehehehe, nahihilig ka sa youtube ah, hehehehe...

herald
07.10.05, 08:56 AM
Remember Fr. Eric Santos?.. sya yung nag-officiate ng Sunday TV Mass ng kumanta tayo sa ABS-CBN a few years ago.. I watched a concert last year and sobrang nakakatawa s'ya sa performance nya.... and I'd like to share it..

http://kerygmafamily.com/view.php?mediaid=153:flv

manoiskee
07.10.05, 12:15 PM
ROTFL

grabe, galing nya, tawa ako nang tawa. :D

bluebees
07.10.09, 05:43 PM
eto share ko lang ! :)


Nakabili c Mister ng "Pampasipag soluble" na pwedeng ihalo sa kape.... ( eto kasi yung bgay ng doctor nia, para magkaanak na sila ni Misis )

after 5 mins.... nag init si Mister .. Hinalikan na si Misis at nag umpisa ng makipag lovemaking sa ibabaw ng lamesa.....

napsigaw si mIsis ...... ano ka ba Juan? wag naman d2 sa Jolibee !!!


hahahhahaha, Hope this one will help to the thread...

I enjoy dun sa youtube video.... mabuhay po kayo!

Bonnie
07.10.10, 08:10 PM
10 Painful things:

1.bringing back the feeling you've learned to forget
2.reminiscing the good times
3.trying to hide what you really feel
4.loving someone who loves another
5.having a commitment with someone that you know wouldnt last
6.shielding your heart to love somebody
7.loving a person too much
8.right love at the wrong time
9.taking the risk to fall in love again
10. bihis na bihis ka tapos hindi ka pala kasama

herald
07.10.11, 08:28 AM
sabi ko, funniest ba ito??.. serious eh, yun pala sa no. 10, ha ha ha, painful talaga pag hindi ka nakasama.. lalo na nung mga bata pa tayo. he he he.. nice one..

unbreakable
07.10.11, 07:37 PM
kaloka nmn kuya bonnie yung post mo... he he he...

Bonnie
07.10.11, 07:50 PM
sabi ko, funniest ba ito??.. serious eh, yun pala sa no. 10, ha ha ha, painful talaga pag hindi ka nakasama.. lalo na nung mga bata pa tayo. he he he.. nice one..

kaloka nmn kuya bonnie yung post mo... he he he...

Ano pa, ahehehehe, ako nga na shock din ng mabasa ko yan, bago ko ipinost, hehehehe.

Let's Laugh In...

Pulis at Intsik
Pulis: boss konting abuloy lang, may
namatay na pulis.
Intsik: ako malaki migay amuloy masta
alaw-alaw melon pulis paktay oke.


PASY ENTE: Dok. . . Ninenerbyos po ako!
First operation ko po ito. . .
DOK: Alam ko ang nararamdaman
mo. . .Kasi ikaw rin ang una kong
pasyente


Tanga: kamusta yung exam mo.
Bobo: wala ako nasagutan, blanko yung
papel ko. Ikaw?
Tanga: naku, blangko din yung papel
ko, baka sabihin ni titser,
nagkopyah an tayo

Bonnie
07.10.12, 09:58 PM
heto o pahabol...

"Pinapaikot mo lang ako.
Nagsasawa na ako. Mabuti
pang patayin mlo na lang
ako."

-electric fan

--------- --- --------- ---

"Hindi lahat ng walang
salawal ay bastos"

-winn ie d' pooh

-------- ---- --------- ---

"Alam mo ba wala akong
ibang hinangad kundi ang
mapalapit sa'yo. Pero
patuloy ang pag-iwas mo"

-ipis

------------ --------- ---

"Hala! Sige magpakasasa
ka! Alam ko namang katawan
ko lang ang habol mo."

-hipon
------------ --------- ---

"Ayoko na! Pag nagmamahal
ako lagi na lang maraming
tao ang nagagalit! Wala
ba akong karapatang
magmah al?!?"

-gasol ina

--------- --- --------- ---

"Hindi ko hinahangad na
ipagmalaki mo na ako'y
sau. Ayoko ko lang naman
na sa harap ng maraming
tao ganun mo na lang ako
itanggi.."

-utot

-- ---------- --------- ---

"Sawang sawa na ako
palagi nalang akong
pinagpapasa - pasahan,
pagod na pagod na ako."

-bola
------------ --------- ---

"You never know what you
have till you lose it.
And once you lose it, you
can never get it back"

-snatch er

---------- -- --------- ---

"Ginawa ko naman lahat
para sumaya ka. Mahirap ba
talagang makontento sa isa?
Bakit palipat-lipat ka?"

-TV

JonM
07.10.13, 03:31 AM
Maid in the Philippines

Maid is cleaning Bro's room.
Bro enters wearing only a towel, kakaligo lang.
Maid starts to walk out of room.
Bro: Neng, isara mo ang pinto.
Maid turns around with tears in her eyes:
Maid: Kuya, h'wag po!!!
Bro: Ano ka ba?!? Paglabas mo ng kwarto!!!

Minsan, namalengke si mama at yung katulong...
Mama: Ofel, iligpit mo na yung mga pinamili natin
Ofel: Opo.
Mama: Bilisan mo at marami pa tayong lulutuin
Ofel: Ate, saan po ilalagay to? sa altar?
Mama: Ang alin?
Ofel: Ito po Ate. (while holding a cauliflower)

Bonnie
07.10.14, 11:35 AM
Eto try ko lang.

Tanong: Anong tawag sa grupo ng mga aso?
Sagot: Aso-ciation
Tanong: Ano naman ang tawag sa grupo ng mga pusa?
Sagot: E 'di pang-cat.

Kuya G.
07.10.15, 07:00 PM
Hahaha dami ko ng namiss po dito. Pagpunta ko dito eh sumaya na naman ako hahaha!:)

sjclc
07.10.15, 09:01 PM
A new pastor came into town. He knocked several times at a locked door and though it was obvious that someone was inside, no one was answering. So he took a piece of card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" and posted in the locked door. The next day he was surprised to find out the card given to him. Beneath his message was written "Genesis 3:10". He scanned the Bible to find out what the verse meant. After reading, he roared out a burst of laughter. Read to find out!

unbreakable
07.10.15, 10:54 PM
ha ha ha... ROFLMAO muntik na akong malokah dun ah.... nice one!!!

manoiskee
07.10.16, 11:44 AM
A new pastor came into town. He knocked several times at a locked door and though it was obvious that someone was inside, no one was answering. So he took a piece of card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" and posted in the locked door. The next day he was surprised to find out the card given to him. Beneath his message was written "Genesis 3:10". He scanned the Bible to find out what the verse meant. After reading, he roared out a burst of laughter. Read to find out!

wahehehe, nice one! :D

JonM
07.10.16, 11:27 PM
Bagong Kasal
Misis: Honey, (medyo pa-sweet pa) malapit na tayo maging tatlo dito sa bahay.

Mister: Talaga Honey? Pinasaya mo ako sa balita mo!

Misis: Oo, kasi dito na titira ang Nanay ko!

Mister and Misis
Misis: Hoy! Tumigil ka na sa pag inom ng Beer, masyado kang magastos.

Mister: Ikaw itong magastos, puro ka make-up at pabango.

Misis: Nagpapaganda ako para sa iyo.

Mister: At umiinom naman ako para gumanda ka!

Religious
Daddy: Anak, mabait ba ang boyfriend mo?

Anak: Opo, Dad.

Daddy: Religious ba siya?

Anak: Naku, sobrang hilig po sa Religion.

Daddy: Saan ba siya nakatira?

Anak: Doon po sa simbahan, nagmimisa nga po sya ngayon e.

sjclc
07.10.17, 09:29 PM
tawa ako dun sa pari joke a.

JonM
07.10.17, 11:23 PM
THE NUNS AND THE BLIND MAN
It was a hot day outside..so the three nuns decided to take off their clothes and bolt the door to their church.

Since there was stain glass windows, nobody could see inside, and the door was locked.

The nuns were busy doing renovations when a Thud Thud Thud hit the door.

The shocked nun ran to the door and pulled her clothes up over herself, when she asked "Who is it"?

The reply from behind the door was "Its the blind man".

The 3 nuns looked relieved when they heard he was the blind man, no sight no problem they figured, and let him in.

Upon opening the door, in entered a burly man in overalls and said "Holy sh** sister nice tits!... Where do you want your blinds?"

herald
07.10.18, 09:28 AM
PARE 1: Pare san ka galing?

PARE 2: Nakibaglibing, nilibing Biyenan ko

PARE 1: E bakit ang dami mong gasgas?

PARE 2: Ang hirap ilibing ng biyenan ko, lumalaban...

Kuya G.
07.10.18, 05:58 PM
PARE 1: Pare san ka galing?

PARE 2: Nakibaglibing, nilibing Biyenan ko

PARE 1: E bakit ang dami mong gasgas?

PARE 2: Ang hirap ilibing ng biyenan ko, lumalaban...

Bwahaha! Ganun!:ecstatic:

JonM
07.10.18, 11:42 PM
MIRACLE
Doctor: Your recovery was a miracle! God healed you.

Patient: PRAISE GOD! Now, I don't have to pay you.

ATHEIST
At an atheist funeral: Here lies an atheist, all dressed up and nowhere to go.

BRAVE CURSING
A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we start cursing." The 4-year-old nods his head in approval. The 6-year-old continues. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to say hell and you say ass."

"OK!" The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

Their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he wants for breakfast. "Aw hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some pancakes."

WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear every step. The mom locks him in his room and shouts "You can just stay there till I let you out!"

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year-old, and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?

"I don't know," he blubbers, "But you can bet your ass it won't be pancakes!"

jdz2432
07.10.19, 03:03 PM
PINOY TECHNOLOGY

An American, Japanese, and a Filipino were sitting naked in the sauna.
Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The American presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly. "That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."

A few minutes later a phone rings. The Japanese lifts his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."

The Filipino , feeling decidedly low-tech but not to be outdone, decided he had to do something just as impressive. He steps out of the sauna and goes to the toilet. He returns with a piece of Toilet paper hanging from his butt.

The others raised their eyebrows and said, "Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is that?"
"I'm receiving a Fax," he explains. :)

bingo
07.10.19, 05:31 PM
wahahaha!!!ROFLMAO:ecstatic:

yuanbautista
07.10.19, 05:39 PM
Magaling pa rin ang Pinoy! :D Walang tatalo! Hehehe...

Cinderella
07.10.21, 09:11 AM
Bill Gates faces God


Well, Bill," said God, "I'm really confused on this one. I'm not sure

whether to send you to Heaven or Hell! After all, you helped society

enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in the world

and yet you created that ghastly Windows. I'm going to do something I've

never done before. I'm going to let you decide where you want to go!"



Mr. Gates replied, "Well, thanks, Lord. What's the difference

between the two?"


God said, "You can take a peek at both places briefly if it will

help you decide. Shall we look at Hell first?"

"Sure!" said Bill. "Let's go!"



Bill was amazed! He saw a clean, white sandy beach with clear waters.

There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the

water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the

temperature was just perfect!



Bill said, "This is great! If this is Hell, I can't wait to see Heaven!"



To which God replied, "Let's go!" and off they went. Bill saw puffy white

clouds in a beautiful blue sky with angels drifting about playing harps and

singing. It was nice, but surely not as enticing as Hell. Mr. Gates thought

for only a brief moment and rendered his decision.



"God, I do believe I would like to go to Hell."

"As you desire," said God.



Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to

see how

things were going. He found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming among the

hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burnt and tortured by demons.



"How ya doin', Bill?" asked God. Bill responded with anguish and despair.

"This is awful! This is not what I expected at all! What happened to the

beach and the beautiful women playing in the water?"



"Oh, THAT!" said God. "That was the screen saver" :)

Kuya G.
07.10.21, 09:48 AM
Nice one Cinderella!:)

sjclc
07.10.21, 09:47 PM
Nice... My moral lesson pa.

unbreakable
07.10.22, 10:58 PM
dami ko namiss dito sa board.... he he he... di kasi ako nakapag Online ng 4 days...

nice stories... thanks guys... you made my night joyful...

JonM
07.10.22, 11:08 PM
TECH SUPPORT

PASSWORD 7
Tech Support: "Your password will be...a small 'a' as in apple, a capital 'V' as in Victor, the number '7' "
Customer: "Is that a capital '7'?"

PASSWORD LOWER CASE
Tech Support: "Ok, let's try once more, but use lower case letters..."
Customer: "Uh, I only have capital letters on my keyboard."

Bonnie
07.10.23, 12:18 PM
Oo nga Unbreakable, medyo matagal din akong di naka online, catch up na lang ako, hehehe.

herald
07.10.23, 04:02 PM
tinignan ko nga keyboard ko, walang lower case... ha ha ha

Bonnie
07.10.23, 07:29 PM
tinignan ko nga keyboard ko, walang lower case... ha ha ha

Ahahahaha, ako rin walang lower case, ahahahahaha... lupit mong mag patch ng joke herald. ahahahaha.

manoiskee
07.10.23, 11:37 PM
tinignan ko nga keyboard ko, walang lower case... ha ha ha

lolz, uu nga, hanef sa follow-up! ehehehe...

unbreakable
07.10.24, 12:08 AM
mewon sa keyboard ko arabic he he he:)

JonM
07.10.24, 03:12 AM
LITTLE JOHNNY
-----
A Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?"

"No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."

-----
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question:

"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left ?" "None.", replied Johnny. "'cause the rest would fly off."

"The correct answer is four," said the teacher. "But I like your thinking."

Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating
ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married ?

Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking her cone?"

"No," said Little Johnny, "The one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you think!"

JonM
07.10.30, 10:33 PM
Sino pong may alam ng title ng kantang ito?

http://www.wimp.com/song/

herald
07.10.31, 09:21 AM
kalokohan na naman yan ha??... scary song... ha ha ha

jdz2432
07.10.31, 01:53 PM
Scary Song :p bwahahahaha

Happy Halloween

Cinderella
07.11.01, 08:42 AM
Hehehe.....Happy Halloween :)

herald
07.11.05, 05:24 PM
Lufthansa Airlines

Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from the
captain:"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have
lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean".

The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation but were
somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an
emergency and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that
all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane and all the
swimmers are on the right side of the plane.

After this announcement all the passengers rearranged their seating to
comply with the captain's request.

Two minutes later the captain made a belly landing in the ocean. The
captain once again made an announcement:

"Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean. All of the
swimmers on the right side of the plane open your emergency exits and
quickly swim away from the plane.

For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of plane... -Thank You for
Flying Lufthansa- ".


Delta Airlines

At the airport for a trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding
announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address
system saying,

"We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board
from Gate 41."

So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41.

Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570
would in fact be boarding from Gate 35. So again we gathered our
carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate.

Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke "Thank You
for participating in Delta's physical fitness program."



British Airways

"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to
welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London .

We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the
Atlantic."

"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft,
you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire.

"If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that
the port wing has fallen off."

"If you look down towards the Atlantic Ocean , you will see a little
yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your
captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a
recorded message."

unbreakable
07.11.05, 07:09 PM
ha ha ha... kakatuwa... paano kaya pag nakaganun no?

Soul-Music
07.11.05, 10:46 PM
You should see this:

http://roflcats.com/images/0219.jpg
http://roflcats.com/images/0188.jpg

More on roflcats.com

jose
07.11.06, 10:32 AM
napapag-usapan na rin lang ang PA system sa eroplano, eto po dagdag ko...


Wouldn't you love to have this attendant on your next flight? Thanks to
a retired Captain for this "paraphrase" of a memorable safety PA
(public announcement) from his Flight Attendants. In his own words...

"While I was flying to San Francisco from Seattle, the flight
attendant began reading the flight safety information in such a unique manner
that once we got airborne, I took out my laptop and typed up what she
said so I wouldn't forget. I've left out a few parts I'm sure, but this is
most of it."

(BEFORE TAKEOFF)

Hello and welcome to Alaska Flight 438 to San Francisco. If you're
going to San Francisco, you're in the right place. If you're not going to
San Francisco, you're about to have a really long evening. We'd like to
tell you now about some important safety features of this aircraft. The
most important safety feature we have aboard this plane is... The Flight
Attendants. Please look at one now.

There are 5 exits aboard this plane: 2 at the front, 2 over the
wings, and one out the plane's rear end. If you're seated in one of the
exit rows, please do not store your bags by your feet. That would be a really
bad idea. Please take a moment and look around and find the nearest
exit. Count the rows of seats between you and the exit. In the event that
the need arises to find one, trust me, you'll be glad you did. We have pretty
blinking lights on the floor that will blink in the direction of the
exits. White ones along the normal rows, and pretty red ones at the
exit rows.

In the event of a loss of cabin pressure these baggy things will
drop down over your head. You stick it over your nose and mouth like the
flight attendant is doing now. The bag won't inflate, but there's oxygen
there, I promise. If you are sitting next to a small child, or someone who
is acting like a small child, please do us all a favor and put on your
mask first. If you are traveling with two or more children, please take a
moment now to decide which one is your favorite. Help that one first
and then work your way down.

In the seat pocket in front of you is a pamphlet about the safety
features of this plane. I usually use it as a fan when I'm hot. It
makes a very good fan. It also has pretty pictures. Please take it out and
play with it now.

Please take a moment now to make sure your seat belts are fastened
low and tight about your hips. To fasten the belt, insert the metal tab
into the buckle. To release, it's a pulley thing -- not a pushy thing like
your car, because you're in an airplane!

There is no smoking in the cabin on this flight. There is also no
smoking in the lavatories. If we see smoke coming from the
lavatories, we will assume you are on fire and put you out. This is a free
service we provide.

There are two smoking sections on this flight, one outside each wing
exit. We do have a movie in the smoking sections tonight. Hold on,
let me check what it is... Oh, here it is: the movie tonight is "Gone With
the Wind."

In a moment we will be turning off the cabin lights, and it's going
to get really dark, really fast. If you're afraid of the dark, now
would be a good time to reach up and press the yellow button. The yellow button
turns on your reading light. Please don't press the orange button
unless you absolutely have to. The orange button is your seat ejection button.

We're glad to have you with us on board this flight. Thank you for
choosing Alaska Air, and giving us your business and your money. If
there's anything we can do to make you more comfortable, please don't
hesitate to ask.

(AFTER LANDING)

Welcome to the San Francisco International Airport. Sorry about the
bumpy landing. It's not the Captain's fault. It's not the Copilot's
fault. It's the Asphalt. Please remain seated until the plane is parked at
the gate. At no time in history has a passenger beaten a plane to the
gate. So please don't even try.

herald
07.11.07, 04:26 PM
watch this

http://kerygmafamily.com/view.php?mediaid=443:flv

Nakakatawa na...may aral pa...

sjclc
07.11.08, 06:19 PM
Natawa ako dun sa after landing... hehehe.

Koenji
07.11.16, 02:06 PM
Fr. Eric Santos as he performs his funny gig during Bo Sanchez's 40th birthday. He's one of a kind talaga. Enjoy. ROFLMAO

http://kerygmafamily.com/view.php?mediaid=269 :flv (http://kerygmafamily.com/view.php?mediaid=269:flv)

BP_fan23
07.11.20, 05:36 PM
Scary Song :p bwahahahaha

Happy Halloween

nyehehehehe buti wala akong cardiac problem or else hehehe

jose
07.12.07, 10:35 AM
Before and After Marriage

Before Marriage - - -

Spouse 1: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

Spouse 2: Do you want me to leave?

Spouse 1: NO! Don't even think about it.

Spouse 2: Do you love me?

Spouse 1: Of course! Over and over!

Spouse 2: Have you ever cheated on me?

Spouse 1: NO! Why are you even asking?

Spouse 2: Will you kiss me?

Spouse 1: Every chance I get!

Spouse 2: Will you hit me?

Spouse 1: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!

Spouse 2: Can I trust you?

Spouse 1: Yes.

Spouse 2: Darling!

After marriage - - - simply read from bottom to top.



hehehe, joke lang po.... :surrender:

Alna_lou
07.12.07, 11:04 AM
hahaha... pasimple lang..wehehe....

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

herald
07.12.07, 12:27 PM
ok yan ah...

manoiskee
07.12.07, 01:03 PM
lol@jose
oks yun ah

bingo
07.12.07, 04:21 PM
Nasali si Inday sa "Deal or no Deal"
Kris: Magandang gabi mga kapamilya, sa gameshow na ito importante ang sagot sa nag-iisang katanungang Deal or no Deal. Ang ating player ngayong gabi ay walang iba kundi ang fastest-rising household services manager na si Inday!
[umentra si Inday at nagpalakpakan ang mga tao]
Kris: Ok Inday, choose a briefcase.
Inday: Kris, I would opt for case #4 please.
Kris: Briefcase # 4… si Sharmel. Inday, matanong ko lang, how did you come up with the number 4?
Inday: Oh, do you really want to know Kris?
Kris: Oo naman. I’m sure kaya ko naman maintindihan yung sasabihin mo eh.
Inday: The number 4 was acquired based on a probability distribution function that involves integrating up to an area greater than or equal to that random number which should be generated between 0 and 1 for proper distributions.
Kris: Syet. Tanong tanong pa kasi eh.
Kris: Ok Inday, choose 6 briefcases to open.
Inday: I would opt for 7, 24, 12, 2, 15 and 20.
Kris: Wait lang Inday, usually isa isa lang ang pagbubukas natin ng case…
Inday: Why is that? As if I can change the outcome if we’re to open a case each time I blurt out a number as opposed to opening each case immediately one after the other right?
Kris: Hayyy…babaguhin pa talaga mechanics (bulong sa sarili).
Kris: Anwyay, di bale na lang nga… tuloy tayo. Number 7. Natalie buksan na!!
[Yung audience sumisigaw ng LOWER!! LOWER!!!]
Kris: Teka lang, bago natin buksan… Inday, usually ang mga contestants naten ay sumisigaw ng “LOWER” every time magbubukas ng case.
Inday: Kris, I guess that’s not the way I was taught in grade school. You see, I was taught that we should only use the comparative form of the word or add “ER” to the adjective if we are comparing two things. And since it is only the first briefcase that we are going to open, we have nothing to compare it to. Am I right?
[natahimik ang audience at napaisip]
Kris: Oo nga no!
Kris: Sige Natalie, Buksan mo na.
[Ang laman ng briefcase 7 ay Piso… Palakpakan ang mga tao]
Kris: Good start! Ano yung next case mo ulit?
Inday: Case number 24 please.
Kris: Chloe… buksan na…
[Audience sumisigaw ulit ng LOWER!! LOWER!!]
Kris: Wait lang guys, Inday may nabuksan ng case baket di ka pa rin sumisigaw ng “Lower”?
Inday: Oh my goodness Kris, how long have you been doing this? Have you ever encountered a value that is lower than a peso in this game? Tell me, is there any value left lower than the one we just opened? Sheesh.
[Napaisip ulit ang audience at natahimik]
Kris: Aarrgghh!!!! Chloe buksan na lang nga, pati na rin yung 12, 2, 15 and 20 buksan na rin para matapos na. [naiirita na]
[At sunod sunod na ngang nabukas ang mga case ni Inday]
[nag-ring ang phone]
Inday: Ahh Kris, to save more time can you tell Banker that I’m not interested in his first offer. In the history of this game of chance, I have yet to see someone accept a first offer from the banker. It’s quite pathetic and pretentious for contestants to pause and look around the audience as if asking for advice before ultimately rejecting the first offer. I mean come on, isn’t that a waste of airtime?
Banker: Potahhh!!! [narinig sa set kahit sarado ang kwarto ni banker]
- Ito ang unang pagkakataon na marinig ng mga audience ang boses ni banker sa Deal or no Deal.
… dumating na sa kalagitnaan ng show at mukhang minamalas na si Inday…
Kris: Ok Inday, mukhang kelangan na natin ng tulong sa mga friends mo… sino ba yung bigotilyong lalaki na naka-polo? Ano name nya?
Inday: Ahh, that’s my master Mr. Montemayor.
Kris: Ahhh sya pala yun, how cute naman pala eh. Sige sir, give us a number.
Mr. Montemayor: Hi Kris, good evening. I’m a fan. I choose number 22 please.
Kris: Ano Inday ok ba yung number 22?
Inday: Whatever, we shouldn’t bite the hand that feeds us anyway. Go ahead.
Kris: [taray naman] Sofie, buksan na!
[ang laman ng briefcase 22 ay 5,000]
Kris: Good job! Sino naman yung gwapong lalake na naka jumper na katabi ni Mr. Montemayor? What’s his name?
Inday: Ahh, that’s my on again off again boyfriend, Dodong the gardener.
Kris: Ooohh, sya pala yun. Ok Dodong, give us a number!
Dodong: Hi babes, I choose briefcase 9 if it’s ok with you. If not, it’s ok with me as long as it’s ok with you.
Kris: Ano raw? Inday, number 9 daw ok say0?
Inday: Yes Kris, it’s fine with me.
Kris: Wow ang bait pag kay Dodong. Ederlyn… buksan na!!
…nanlaki ang mga mata ni Inday at hindi sya makapaniwala. Natahimik at mukhang kakapusin sya ng hininga…
Inday: YOU!!! How dare you invade my moment!
[nagulat si Kris at ang mga audience sa reaksyon ni Inday. Nagpatawag si Kris ng commercial break at nagpakuha ng tubig para kay Inday.]
Nagkatitigan sina Inday at Ederlyn. Nakangisi si Ederlyn habang hawak ang briefcase ni Inday.
Ederlyn: Pinapangako ko, Inday… pagbukas luluhod ang mga tala! hahahahaha!
Inday: What? Can you speak up? What are you mumbling up there. Can somebody give her a microphone please?
Kris: Ano ba!! Tama na nga ang drama ninyo, Ederlyn buksan mo na ang case at umexit ka na kung ayaw mong mapalitan! (naiirita na si Kris)
Dali-daling binuksan ni Ederlyn ang briefcase at ang laman ay… P3,000,000.
Nanghinayang ang mga audience… Ang mga natirang values ay 250, 1K, 20K, 50K, and 500K.
Inday: NooOoo…. (sabay tingin kay Dodong at napapaluha), how could you…
Dodong: I’m so sorry Inday, please forgive me.
Kris: Hayyy, drama again. Ang offer ni banker sa pagbabalik ng Kapamilya, Deal.. or No Deal!
[pagtapos ng commercial break… mukhang composed na ulit si Inday]
Kris: Inday, are you okay? Ang offer ni banker ay 99 thousand pesos. ‘Sing rami siguro ng pilipinong pinadugo mo na ilong. Is it a Deal or No Deal?
Tahimik lang si Inday tilang may kinocompute sa ulo habang ang mga audience ay nagsisigawan ng “No Deal”, ang iba naman ay “Deal”.
Kris: Wait lang, kung mapapansin ninyo we have only have 5 cases left, and among those 5, apat doon ay mas maliit na value…
Inday: Kris, do you mind? Can I do my own thinking?
Natameme si Kris, pati ang audience ay natahimik.
Kris: Taray to the max! (pabulong sa sarili)
Inday: Ok, I’m ready. Upon looking at the reality of the situation, 80% of the cases left have at least 49K less than the banker’s offer. The only way I can do better than what is offered is that if my case contains the 500k or I’d get to open one of the four lower values. But I have to keep in mind that there’s only 20% probability that this would happen. I have to take note, however, that the banker’s offer is roughly around 15% lower than the offer I expected based on the arithmetic mean of the values left.
Kris: Lorddd… panaginip ba ‘to? Ayokonaaa….
Inday: Accepting a deal for less than the mean should generally be regarded as a weak decision so I would say, NO DEAL!
Limang briefcase na lang ang natitira at kasama na doon ang case ni Inday…
Kris: My God, nakaka-stress itong episode na ito ha. Baka dumugo na rin ang ilong ko sa’yo Inday. Sige Inday, go ahead and choose 1 briefcase!
Inday: Ok Kris, I choose briefcase #5 please?
Kris: Briefcase #5! Mimi bago mo buksan yan I would first like to thank Figliarina by Schubizz for my sandals, Bambi Fuentes for my hair and make-up and Pepsi Herrera for my gown tonight.
Kris: Ok Mimi, buk…
Inday: Ahh Kris, can I also take time to thank a few people? I mean, I did save us a few minutes of airtime right?
Kris: (“kapal naman talaga ng mukha”…bulong sa sarili) Sige, ok lang go ahead. (naka-smile pa rin)
Inday: Thanks! Yes, I would like to thank Frank Provost for my hair and make-up, Jimmy Choo for my sandals and my dear friend Oscar dela Renta for my gown tonight.
BLAG!! Tinumba ni Kris ang podium at nagwalk-out. Hindi na natapos ang show kaya’t binigyan na lang ni Banker si Inday ng kalahating milyon para sa kanyang oras.
Inday: Oh, and thanks to the people of Cartier for sending me these nice earrings for tonight!
[Ito ang isa sa mga un-aired episode ng Kapamilya, Deal or No Deal]

Jose Javato
07.12.07, 07:18 PM
Ten Best Things to do When Bored:

1. Papakin ang kape, kunwari milo
2. Pag-aralan ang wika ng mga ipis at kaibiganin sila.
3. Punuin ng tubig ang inidoro.
4. Baklasin ang tv at gawing radyo.
5. Pagkasyahin ang sarili sa ref.
6. Magbilang ng buhok.
7. Pagkatapos kumain, magtinga gamit ang tubo
8. Magsibak ng kahoy gamit ang blade.
9. Maligo ng hangin.
10. Silaban ang bahay at sumigaw ng 'yehey!'

BP_fan23
07.12.09, 11:21 AM
read this muntik ako nabitin sa huli ewan ko sa inyo

Scene : DEAL OR NO DEAL

Nang sumali si INDAY sa deal or no
deal..

Kris: Magandang gabi mga kapamilya, sa
gameshow na ito importante ang
sagot sa nag-iisang katanungang Deal or
no Deal! Ang ating player
ngayong gabi ay walang iba kundi ang
fastest-risin g household
service s manager na si Inday!

[ument ra si Inday at nagpalakpakan ang
mga tao]

Kris: Ok Inday, choose a briefcase.

In day: Kris, I would opt for case #4
please.

Kris: Briefcase # 4. Si Sharmel.
Inday, matanong ko lang, how did
you come up with the number 4?

Inday: Oh, do you really want to know
Kris?

Kris: Oo naman. I'm sure kaya ko naman
maintindiha n yung sasabihin mo
eh.

Ind ay: The number 4 was acquired based
on a probability distribution
func tion that involves integrating up
to an area greater than or
equal to that random number which
should
b e generated between 0 and 1
for proper distributions.
Kr is: Syet. tanong tanong pa kasi eh.

Kris: Ok Inday, choose 6 briefcases to
open.

I nday: I would opt for 7, 24, 12, 2,
15
and 20.

Kris: Wait lang Inday, usually isa isa
lang ang pagbubukas natin ng
case.

I nday: Why is that? As if I can change
the outcome if we're to open a
case each time I blurt out a number as
opposed to opening each case
immediately one after the other right?

Kris: Hayyy. Babaguhin pa talaga
mechanics (bulong sa sarili).

Kris : Anwyay, di bale na lang nga.
Tuloy tayo! Number 7. Natalie
buksan na!!

[Yung audience sumisigaw ng LOWER!!
LOWER!!!]

Kris: Teka lang, bago natin buksan.
Inday, usually ang mga
contestants naten ay sumisigaw ng
"LOWER" every time magbubukas ng
case.

I nday: Kris, I guess that's not the
way
I was taught in grade school.
You see, I was taught that we should
only use the comparative form of
the word or add "ER" to the adjective
if
w e are comparing two things.
And since it is only the first
briefcasethat we are going to open,
we have nothing to compare it to. Am I
right?

[ natahimik ang audience at napaisip]

Kri s: Oo nga 'no!

Kris: Sige Natalie, Buksan mo na.

[Ang laman ng briefcase 7 ay Piso.
Palakpakan ang mga tao]

Kris: Good start! Ano yung next case mo
ulit?

I nday: Case number 24 please.

Kris: Chloe, buksan na!

[Audience sumisigaw ulit ng LOWER!!
LOWER!!]& lt;BR>
Kris : Wait lang guys, Inday may
nabuksan nang case baket di ka pa rin
sumisigaw ng "LOWER"?

Inda y: Oh my goodness Kris, how long
have you been doing this? Have
you ever encountered a value that is
lower than a peso in this game?
Tell me, is there any value left lower
than the one we just opened?
Sheesh.[Napaisip ulit ang audience at
natahimik]

Kris: Aarrgghh!!!! Chloe buksan na lang
nga, pati na rin yung 12, 2,
15 and 20 buksan na rin para matapos
na!
[n aiirita na]

[At sunod sunod na ngang nabukas ang
mga
case ni Inday]

[nag-r ing ang phone]

Inday: Ahh Kris, to save more time can
you tell Banker that I'm not
interested in his first offer. In the
history of this game of chance,
I have yet to see someone accept a
first
offer from the banker. It's
quite pathetic and pretentious for
contestants to pause and look
around the audience as if asking for
advice before ultimately
reject ing the first offer. I mean come
on, isn't that a waste of
airtime?
Ba nker: Potahhh!!! [narinig sa set
kahit
sara do ang kwarto ni banker]

- Ito ang unang pagkakataon na marinig
ng mga audience ang boses ni
banker sa Deal or no Deal.-

manoiskee
07.12.09, 05:43 PM
ngek, replay, ehehehe.

BP_fan23
07.12.09, 09:30 PM
ngek, replay, ehehehe.

oo nga eh... i thought i was the first to post this joke hehehe pero mas maganda ang nauna complete

manoiskee
07.12.11, 10:51 AM
uu nga eh, tyaga pa ni bingo i-format yung text. ehehehe.

Jon2
07.12.13, 09:40 AM
Fr. Eric Santos as he performs his funny gig during Bo Sanchez's 40th birthday. He's one of a kind talaga. Enjoy. ROFLMAO

http://kerygmafamily.com/view.php?mediaid=269 :flv (http://kerygmafamily.com/view.php?mediaid=269:flv)

kuya koenji!!!!

musta na kayo ni ate himig dyan? kelan balik nyo ng pinas?

value
natawa ako dito sa video na ito:

maritess and the superfriends (http://www.fractalcow.com/rex/high.html) (click)

BP_fan23
07.12.13, 06:33 PM
Anong intention nya na pinagttawanan lang nya ang City namin hhehehe but really Zamboanga is Beautiful.. never will you regret.

Alexander
07.12.16, 02:57 PM
Lumang joke, sana hindi ito replay...

Ano ang tawag sa gumagapang sa likod ng pusa at aso? Pulgas at Garapata
Ano naman ang tawag sa gumagapang sa manok at kalapati? Hanep
Ano naman ag gumagapang sa likod ng Kabayo? Edi... Plantsa (hehehe)

unbreakable
07.12.17, 05:24 PM
nice try kuya alex... he he he

Alna_lou
07.12.19, 02:39 PM
mukhang matagal.tagal na rin akong di nakapost sa thread na ito..well here's mine:

Napaligiran ng 2 fighter-bomber, 5 tanke, 9 na kanyon at 35 machine guns at 200 mga sundalong naka-Armalite ang isang bahay kubo sa liblib ng isang baryo sa probinsiya. Sa loudspeaker, isinigaw ng Koronel ng mga sundalo, "Kumander Bertulfo, sumuko ka na! Hindi ka makakawala!"

Buhat sa loob ng bahay kubo, isang matapang na sagot, "Hindi ako susuko!"

Inulit ng Koronel, "Sumuko ka na, Kumander Bertulfo, at kung hindi, ay bobombahin at kakanyunin at mamasinganin at babarilin ka namin."

Buhat sa loob ng bahay kubo, isang lalong matapang na sagot, "Hindi ako susuko!"

Muling inulit ng Koronel, "Huling pagkakataon mong sumuko, Kumander Bertulfo, kundi ay bobombahin at kakanyunin at mamasinganin at babarilin ka namin."

Muli, buhat sa loob ng bahay kubo, isang pinakamatapang na sagot, "Hindi ako susuko!"

Sigaw nung Koronel sa kaniyang mga sundalo, "PIRE!"

Nagsimulang mag-strafe yung dalawang fighter-bombers, nagpapaputok ang 5 tanke at 9 na kanyon, sabay-sabay nagputukan ang 35 machine guns at ang mga Armalite ng 200 sundalo hanggang naubos ang kanilang mga bomba at bala.

Nang mahawi ang napakakapal na usok, nakita ng lahat na halos walang natira sa bahay-kubo. Nang lapitan ng Koronel ang naghihingalong sugatin sa gutay-gutay na bahay kubo, kaniyang itinanong, "Alam mo namang wala kang kalaban-laban at napakarami naming armas. Bakit ayaw mong sumuko?"

Patawa-tawang sumagot ang naghihingalong sugatin, "Hindi naman ako si Bertulfo, eh..."

Jon2
07.12.22, 10:33 AM
according to a news report, a private school was recently faced with a unique problem. a number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back. finally the principal decided that something had to be done.

she called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. she explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the maintenance man who had to clean the mirrors every night - (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).

to demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.

he took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

moral to this story: there are teachers....and then there are educators.

Cinderella
07.12.24, 10:25 AM
SA CLINIC

Bata: Takot po ko bunot ipin

Dr: Bigyan kita gamot pampatapang
(inom gamot)
Dr: Matapang ka na?

Bata: Sige! Subukan mong galawin ang ipin ko, basagin ko bungo mo!

:P

unbreakable
07.12.29, 01:23 PM
wahhhh... natakot tuloy yong dentist... lol

nice one cinderella..

michaela
08.01.23, 09:01 AM
This makes me think that wit is a gift.:nice:

One batchmate in my law school asked our dean, "Is it true that history repeats itself?"

"Indeed, sir," came to reply. "Particularly if you fail it."

***

Here's another one pa:

My uncle is well known in our family for his unsuccessful attempts at losing weight. Recently, he promised not to eat meats/beefs, but as always his willpower soon failed and my aunt caught him eating a whooper burger. Rolling her eyes,she asked him, "What are you eating?" He replied without batting an eye, "My words."ROFLMAO

jose
08.01.23, 09:23 AM
moral to this story: there are teachers....and then there are educators.

hahaha...effective!

...and this one's indeed witty
"What are you eating?" He replied without batting an eye, "My words."

Cinderella
08.01.24, 09:08 PM
Collection of Joke part 1

kung nag GAY LANGUAGE sana sila GMA at GARCI eh di walang SCAM!

GMA: hallow gracia!
GARCI: uy mother ever! Na chenilyn de kimberlyn ko na po yung mga chuva eke k.
GMA: bonggacious! Eh yung mga chenes chenes, carry na ba?
GARCI: flatshoes! Winnie santos mama, wiz na wori eclavou na ever! Na chorva na!
GMA: ang tarushki! Maldita ka talaga vruha ka! Eh di windra na naman watashi?!
GARCI: anufi ate.
GMA: oshah ba.


---------------------------------------------------------------------


sa sabungan, walang entrance fee ang may dalang panabong. Si Juan para makalibre pumasok may dalang inahin.
BANTAY: [sinita si Juan] ano yan?
JUAN: [galit pa!] manok!
BANTAY: alam ko, eh bakit inahin?
JUAN: may laban ang mister niya, siyempre moral support nu ka ba!


----------------------------------------------------------------------


sa loob ng mall....
GUY: love, yan ang dati kong girlfriend.
JOWA: ang pangit pangit naman!
GUY: wala akong magagawa, yan talaga ang weakness ko ever since.


----------------------------------------------------------------------


INA: anak, tawagan mo nga tatay mo sa celfon. Pauwiin mo dito.
[pagkatapos tawagan.]
ANAK: nay, babae po ang sumagot.
INA: Naku!, sinasabi ko na nga ba, may tinatago yang tatay mo eh! Anong sabi?
ANAK: 'you only have zero pesos in your account...' hindi ko na tinapos nay mukhang matapobre.


----------------------------------------------------------------------


paramihan ng anak.
HAPONESA: pumasok, bitbit 10 anak..
(palakpakan)
AMERIKANA: pumasok, bitbit 20 anak.
(palakpakan)
PINAY: pumasok, sigawan ang audience! "GO NAY!!"

blueforgetmenot
08.01.25, 10:35 PM
PINAKAMALAKAS ANG ELECTRIC FAN PAG NASA NO. 3

SEND THIS TO 20 FRIENDS. IF NOT, di na iikot ang electric fan nyo. This is true! yung friend ko pawis na pawis na!


===========================================

Grand compilation ng mga PAMATAY na hirit VOLUME 3


* Mag empake ka! Punta tayong home for the aged.. importante lang
kasi I WANNA GROW OLD WITH YOU

*Aanhin pa ang alak kung sayo palang may tama na ako

* Ako na ang magbabayad ng tuition fee mo, basta pag-aralan mo lang ako MAHALIN

* Tapos ka na bang mag-exam? pwede bang ako nman ang sagutin mo?

*Alien ba ang tatay mo? coz thers nothing else like you here on earth

*Uy! pwede ba kita maging driver?.. gusto ko kasing ikaw ang magpatakbo ng buhay ko..


Soon to publish GRAND COMPILATION VOLUME 4
HEHEHE

blueforgetmenot
08.01.25, 10:45 PM
a guy gave 3 roses to her girlfriend.
the girl said, oh! boy, your so romantic why did you gave me
3 roses?

the boy said, "kasi di pwedeng bumili ng isa lang, tatlo sampo talga eh..

toink! sana di na nagtanong! ahehehehe

ryanestandarte
08.01.26, 11:55 AM
a guy gave 3 roses to her girlfriend.
the girl said, oh! boy, your so romantic why did you gave me
3 roses?

the boy said, "kasi di pwedeng bumili ng isa lang, tatlo sampo talga eh..

toink! sana di na nagtanong! ahehehehe

Magamit nga sa Valentines. Hahaha!!! :D

jose
08.01.28, 10:00 AM
PINAKAMALAKAS ANG ELECTRIC FAN PAG NASA NO. 3

SEND THIS TO 20 FRIENDS. IF NOT, di na iikot ang electric fan nyo. This is true! yung friend ko pawis na pawis na!


wahaha...pinagpapawisan na ko sa kakatawahahaha LOL

reagan
08.01.28, 09:34 PM
Hehehe.... medyo matagal na din na di ako naka visit sa thread na 'to.. :)
Nakakatanggal talaga ng stress..

Eto, napulot ko sa internet:

Quoteable quote:

"Oo inaamin ko. Sila ay mga yakal, lawaan, apitong at narra. At kami ay saging lamang. Pero maghanap kayo ng puno sa buong pilipinas, Saging lang ang may puso… Saging lang ang may puso! SAGING LANG!!!"
-Mark Lapid (from the movie, "APOY SA DIDDIB NG SAMAR" hmm..panalong quotable quote..ibang level!)

blueforgetmenot
08.01.28, 10:20 PM
Magamit nga sa Valentines. Hahaha!!! :D


oi magfifeeling romantic? ahehehe just kidding bro ahahahaha :))

Jon2
08.01.29, 11:02 AM
may kasakay ako sa elevator na foreigner. pababa kami ng ground floor pero bago makarating dun ay huminto sa 4th floor. pag bukas ng pinto, tinanong ako ng:

pinoy: "bababa ba?"

sinagot ko syempre.

ako: "bababa."

at pumasok ang pinoy sa elevator. the foreigner curiously asked,

foreigner: "did you guys just had a conversation?"

blueforgetmenot
08.01.29, 08:19 PM
,dito ako nagsimula,
,dito ako nakilala,
,dito natupad ang aking mga pangarap
,kaya naniniwala ko na ang GMA ay lumalaban ng patas at walang daya,



"salie" po,
Proud to a KAPUSO! ahahaha

Cinderella
08.02.02, 07:03 PM
May isang fairy
sabi nya lahat daw ng "cute"
sinusumpa nya
na maging ngongo..
Haayy...
nedma lang ango
Sami ngo, "nye! maniwaya?
hinyi aman yon uoo
aloohan lang yon nima?

ryanestandarte
08.02.03, 10:13 PM
Muah!

Mwuah!

Mmwuahh!

Mmwwuuaahh!

Mmmmwwuuaahh!!!

-sabi ng konduktor na nagtatawag ng pasahero byaheng MALL OF ASIA (MOA)

:)

blueforgetmenot
08.02.05, 11:11 PM
SYMPTOMS OF A CERTIFIED SINGLE

1. MAHILIG KUMAIN
2. PANALO ANG SOCIAL LIFE, ALAM LAHAT NG GIMIKAN AT MALL SALE
3. HAYOK SA TULOG
4. GADGET ADIK
5. SA CELPHONE, GROUP MESSAGE NG GROUP MESSAGE NG MGA QUOTES
6. NAGSMILE KAHOT ALONE
7. TUMATABA
8. PORMA TO THE MAX
9. MUKHANG HAPPY KAHIT HINDI NAMAN TALAGA

SYMPTOMS OF CERTIFIED TAKEN

1. WALANG PERA
2. MUKHANG NGARAG LAGE
3. KURIPOT
4. BLOOMING KASI KAILNAGAN PARA HINDI IWAN
5. WALANG SOCIAL LIFE KUNDI JOWA
6. BORING KAUSAP

TRULY O SURELY?

AHAHAHAHAHAHA :-)) :-)) :-))

pj_mariano_RN
08.02.06, 04:43 PM
INA: ikaw na bata ka! pumunta ka nga ba sa gay bar?

ANAK: opo!

INA: ano ang nakita mo dun na hindi mo dapat makita?!







ANAK: si itay po... Ang landi! Tumitili pa!:D

pj_mariano_RN
08.02.06, 04:48 PM
SYMPTOMS OF A CERTIFIED SINGLE

1. MAHILIG KUMAIN
2. PANALO ANG SOCIAL LIFE, ALAM LAHAT NG GIMIKAN AT MALL SALE
3. HAYOK SA TULOG
4. GADGET ADIK
5. SA CELPHONE, GROUP MESSAGE NG GROUP MESSAGE NG MGA QUOTES
6. NAGSMILE KAHOT ALONE
7. TUMATABA
8. PORMA TO THE MAX
9. MUKHANG HAPPY KAHIT HINDI NAMAN TALAGA

SYMPTOMS OF CERTIFIED TAKEN

1. WALANG PERA
2. MUKHANG NGARAG LAGE
3. KURIPOT
4. BLOOMING KASI KAILNAGAN PARA HINDI IWAN
5. WALANG SOCIAL LIFE KUNDI JOWA
6. BORING KAUSAP

TRULY O SURELY?

AHAHAHAHAHAHA :-)) :-)) :-))

those items on blue, yan ako! hahaha!

blueforgetmenot
08.02.11, 02:59 PM
those items on blue, yan ako! hahaha!



sakto ba? ahaha

hmmmm as i look at you in your picture??

mukha nga ahahahaha

oooppsss may nakalimutan ka yung no. 7!

tuts
08.02.12, 11:55 AM
SYMPTOMS OF A CERTIFIED SINGLE

1. MAHILIG KUMAIN
2. PANALO ANG SOCIAL LIFE, ALAM LAHAT NG GIMIKAN AT MALL SALE
3. HAYOK SA TULOG
4. GADGET ADIK
5. SA CELPHONE, GROUP MESSAGE NG GROUP MESSAGE NG MGA QUOTES
6. NAGSMILE KAHOT ALONE
7. TUMATABA
8. PORMA TO THE MAX
9. MUKHANG HAPPY KAHIT HINDI NAMAN TALAGA

SYMPTOMS OF CERTIFIED TAKEN

1. WALANG PERA
2. MUKHANG NGARAG LAGE
3. KURIPOT
4. BLOOMING KASI KAILNAGAN PARA HINDI IWAN
5. WALANG SOCIAL LIFE KUNDI JOWA
6. BORING KAUSAP

TRULY O SURELY?

AHAHAHAHAHAHA :-)) :-)) :-))

hahah nice...